Saturday, December 31, 2011

Last Post of 2011, 道别2011

2011, 一个变幻莫测的一年,终于将与我们道别。

这一年,前半段过得匆匆忙忙。没准备好,就莫名其妙地低分毕业了。说到准备,我何时有真正充分准备过?
后半段,时间明显变缓,挫折不断。沉睡已久的我,终于在毕业之后,苏醒了。我不能说,一向糊里糊涂,凡事不必操心的我,真的就这样完全觉醒。但至少,我知道,一直认为是个温馨的家,正在面临最艰难的时刻。就在我们正发现国人患忧郁症的人数与日俱增的同时,偏偏它就这样悄悄地找上了我家。不止一人,不同症状。就这样,我开始需要做很多决定。不管结果是好是坏,至少我知道我的出发点,是对的。与其就这样让它持续不断,不如尝试接受治疗。老妈常为不少事而担忧 -- 钱,家,工作,与子宫里不请自来的瘤。此外,又到了更年期,结果,被忧郁症看上了。更糟的是,她还一度不知患上什么,身体处处大块红斑,在医院呆上了一晚。庆幸的是,那怪症状无药自医。还好她没事前常常待人不错,同事,上司都特别照顾。就算她的忧郁,变成了犹豫,不去上班,公司并没有炒她鱿鱼。一段时间家里是乱的。没了老妈的打理,家里只剩我草率地将衣服洗晒,清理碗碟,日子还过得去。就这样熬着熬着,担忧一件一件废除,老妈的合作,定期检查,按时吃药,她仿佛回到从前,活泼开朗。好几个月了吧,要加油,要完全康复!

忙照顾学业,兼职,朋友,老妈,我忽略了另外一位正面临种种困难的家庭成员。她从小到大不爱听从我们指示,劝告,一意孤行,爱约束他人却不爱他人约束。可以说非常独立,但脾气坏,意志却不够坚强,还超多坏习惯。就因如此,感情出现问题,对方无法与她沟通,四年恋情不欢而散。有时候,不要把一切关在心理,试着分享,烦恼分一点一点,比较没那么沉重。家庭负担,个人野心,感情问题,工作压力。或许她想得比较多,背得比较重,一个辛苦经营的感情破裂,她,精神分裂。起初只是发发脾气,自言自语。后来,疑神疑鬼,数次崩溃大哭。再后来,语无伦次,极为反常。到那时,经过一番搜查,我可以肯定,八成是精神分裂症…但至今,她仍然不肯承认自己精神出现问题,不肯求医。只要一劝她,她就会非常强烈反抗,像整个人发了疯似的。浪费了二十多年,还不觉悟,还没学会聆听吗……?最担忧,最棘手,最束手无策… 奇迹我相信你的存在,快解开她的心魔!

而我,毕业好一段时间才找到一份离家不远的工作。以为一切将风调雨顺,却发现不容易。才短短不到三个月,事情接二连三发生。我必须匆匆忙忙的赶下去公司。更可恶的是,只能赶下去在Bedok一带的公司,无法在总部执行任务。这年的最后一周,从圣诞当天,就天天加班,好让系统恢复正常。就连我在打着一封应该属于2011的篇章,都被叫了回去,故障不断。辛好公司是24小时运作,还有人能与我一起到数,从中感到一点欣慰。就这样在公司跨年了。是个新鲜滋味,可我不想每个节日都如此心惊胆颤。必须找个出路才行。快点三个月!

希望来临的2012,没有末日,没有灾难,不要麻烦,没有困难。开心,健康,一切都旺!为幸福打拼!

Sunday, December 18, 2011

You Better Watch Out!

It's a hectic week~!

New problems just keep popping out for my work. Never had a chance to seriously master a skill, then I had to find ways to solve another. How effective can this kind of learning be...? How far can I go for this company...? What's the worst that I have yet face...? Let's take one step at a time... Some seniors suddenly went long holidays at the same period, leaving the juniors, especially me, a noob, to cover the shit. I've gotta try my best not to sabotage this company, at least, don't mar my record. Good luck is very much needed!

When can I have a good break...? Festive season is here! Could still remember what I actually did on last X'mas. Next week! OMG, can I don't work, can I just leave everything here and find my own little comfort somewhere else...? Can I just escape into a hole without worries...? Can I just live with freedom to do my own things...? Can I just live my own life...? Can I just live happily ever after...?

Seasons of giving, I wanna give everyone something, but I realise, I only have limited resources to only give them to the limited few... And time is so limited to even think and choose the gifts... Can you guys just send me a wishlist each? Guanta Clauz wanna share some gifts~ Please spare some consideration for my limited budget though~

What should I do on X'mas this year...? What can I do...?

クリスマスのために欲しいすべては、君です。