私の世界…

Last Post of 2011, 道别2011

2011-12-31T23:59:00.000+08:00

2011, 一个变幻莫测的一年，终于将与我们道别。

这一年，前半段过得匆匆忙忙。没准备好，就莫名其妙地低分毕业了。说到准备，我何时有真正充分准备过？

后半段，时间明显变缓，挫折不断。沉睡已久的我，终于在毕业之后，苏醒了。我不能说，一向糊里糊涂，凡事不必操心的我，真的就这样完全觉醒。但至少，我知道，一直认为是个温馨的家，正在面临最艰难的时刻。就在我们正发现国人患忧郁症的人数与日俱增的同时，偏偏它就这样悄悄地找上了我家。不止一人，不同症状。就这样，我开始需要做很多决定。不管结果是好是坏，至少我知道我的出发点，是对的。与其就这样让它持续不断，不如尝试接受治疗。老妈常为不少事而担忧 -- 钱，家，工作，与子宫里不请自来的瘤。此外，又到了更年期，结果，被忧郁症看上了。更糟的是，她还一度不知患上什么，身体处处大块红斑，在医院呆上了一晚。庆幸的是，那怪症状无药自医。还好她没事前常常待人不错，同事，上司都特别照顾。就算她的忧郁，变成了犹豫，不去上班，公司并没有炒她鱿鱼。一段时间家里是乱的。没了老妈的打理，家里只剩我草率地将衣服洗晒，清理碗碟，日子还过得去。就这样熬着熬着，担忧一件一件废除，老妈的合作，定期检查，按时吃药，她仿佛回到从前，活泼开朗。好几个月了吧，要加油，要完全康复！

忙照顾学业，兼职，朋友，老妈，我忽略了另外一位正面临种种困难的家庭成员。她从小到大不爱听从我们指示，劝告，一意孤行，爱约束他人却不爱他人约束。可以说非常独立，但脾气坏，意志却不够坚强，还超多坏习惯。就因如此，感情出现问题，对方无法与她沟通，四年恋情不欢而散。有时候，不要把一切关在心理，试着分享，烦恼分一点一点，比较没那么沉重。家庭负担，个人野心，感情问题，工作压力。或许她想得比较多，背得比较重，一个辛苦经营的感情破裂，她，精神分裂。起初只是发发脾气，自言自语。后来，疑神疑鬼，数次崩溃大哭。再后来，语无伦次，极为反常。到那时，经过一番搜查，我可以肯定，八成是精神分裂症…但至今，她仍然不肯承认自己精神出现问题，不肯求医。只要一劝她，她就会非常强烈反抗，像整个人发了疯似的。浪费了二十多年，还不觉悟，还没学会聆听吗……？最担忧，最棘手，最束手无策… 奇迹我相信你的存在，快解开她的心魔！

而我，毕业好一段时间才找到一份离家不远的工作。以为一切将风调雨顺，却发现不容易。才短短不到三个月，事情接二连三发生。我必须匆匆忙忙的赶下去公司。更可恶的是，只能赶下去在Bedok一带的公司，无法在总部执行任务。这年的最后一周，从圣诞当天，就天天加班，好让系统恢复正常。就连我在打着一封应该属于2011的篇章，都被叫了回去，故障不断。辛好公司是24小时运作，还有人能与我一起到数，从中感到一点欣慰。就这样在公司跨年了。是个新鲜滋味，可我不想每个节日都如此心惊胆颤。必须找个出路才行。快点三个月！

希望来临的2012，没有末日，没有灾难，不要麻烦，没有困难。开心，健康，一切都旺！为幸福打拼！

You Better Watch Out!

2011-12-18T23:59:00.000+08:00

It's a hectic week~!

New problems just keep popping out for my work. Never had a chance to seriously master a skill, then I had to find ways to solve another. How effective can this kind of learning be...? How far can I go for this company...? What's the worst that I have yet face...? Let's take one step at a time... Some seniors suddenly went long holidays at the same period, leaving the juniors, especially me, a noob, to cover the shit. I've gotta try my best not to sabotage this company, at least, don't mar my record. Good luck is very much needed!

When can I have a good break...? Festive season is here! Could still remember what I actually did on last X'mas. Next week! OMG, can I don't work, can I just leave everything here and find my own little comfort somewhere else...? Can I just escape into a hole without worries...? Can I just live with freedom to do my own things...? Can I just live my own life...? Can I just live happily ever after...?

Seasons of giving, I wanna give everyone something, but I realise, I only have limited resources to only give them to the limited few... And time is so limited to even think and choose the gifts... Can you guys just send me a wishlist each? Guanta Clauz wanna share some gifts~ Please spare some consideration for my limited budget though~

What should I do on X'mas this year...? What can I do...?

クリスマスのために欲しいすべては、君です。

Into The Final Month of 2011

2011-12-11T23:59:00.000+08:00

Hisashiburi.

Getting used to work. Getting familiar with the things around. Still more to learn. But still not able to understand this boss of mine. Tried all means to avoid friction. Without much interactions with him, the weeks just flew by pretty smoothly and comfortably. As long as I do my job, who cares about building relationship with him?

Christmas' coming! What's in your wishlist? If Doomsday is turning out to be true... This will be our very last X'mas... Let's do something special on this day. Got a plan yet?

私を忘れないでください...

STRRRRR~RESSSS~!

2011-11-13T23:59:00.000+08:00

I don't know how to describe my job. Never had this kind of feeling before. I seriously think, this may not be the job for me. How to even endure for a year when a month feels like eons. The rest are ok except my boss. I never like people to use threatening tone, and he does that all the time. Every work day is a tolerance training day. Hate this job. Hope things will change as I get better and can finally shut his mouth up, and I'm able to work independently. I need to improve drastically ASAP.

Borrowed 2 books from library. 2 days yet I haven't even read a page. Just can't convince myself to spend my precious weekends for work and what's worst, reading is seriously not my cup of tea. Sigh~ Hell job.

Keep wanting to go visit Punggol Waterway, but the weather always pit against me. Weekends are so short, weekdays already tired after work. Now I miss my unemployed life...

Money shall be the force for moving on... Gambatte.

きみがここにいるだけであるなら…

Friends-R-Important Week

2011-11-06T23:59:00.000+08:00

Had some fun for this long weekend~

Saturday, my first time going JB! Well, not exactly first time as I went Kota Tinggi for camping during JC days but, first time going there for leisure shopping and eating. Pretty cool experience. Things are so cheap and seriously their City Square Mall has everything! Just walking around, you'll be entering different "zones", from clothes, to IT gadgets to food.

The queuing at Malaysian custom needs to be improved though. Someone has to maintain the order, people are jumping all over the queues and some people don't even know how to queue. 1 station can split into 2 queues, freaking slow. Met at 1:30 PM in Singapore and when we reached there already 4+ PM! Had dinner at Taman Sri Tebrau Hawker Centre (If I didn't remember wrongly), and had a sumptuous seafood dinner. Cereal and Butter Crayfish, Chilli Crab, some other dishes and lastly we had Beggar Chicken to sum up the delicious dinner. Certainly worth it and I will definitely patronize again.

Had a haircut on Sunday. Took a gamble on Kimage. Freaking $35! Scary, kena scammed by their website. Anyway, just gave it a try and I got myself a punky hairstyle. Really had to style or else, cannot show myself. Haha, ok la, I don't really care when I'm running out of time. Hope people don't mistake me as pai kia. =X

On Monday, had some catching up with some JC friends. Glad that all are looking good. They never fail to make me laugh real hard. Interesting bunch of friends to have.

What if our time becomes a currency? What if you will be able to see how much time you have left in your life? Would you challenge the system? Or would you just cherish the remaining time doing whatever you'd wanted to do? ----- I would rather it be remained as mystery, and never should time be converted to currency. Too cruel to take away time away from others... Haha, watched "In Time".

時間は経過しています…

A Week of Sleep Deprivation

2011-10-30T23:59:00.000+08:00

This week ended with a lack of enjoyable note.

And here I am, exhausted, deprived of sleep, yet gotta prepare for the holiday-less work week. Wah, what a challenge.

Thailand really having a hard time aren't they? Today was a really sunny day. Hope the flooding can be ended really soon. I wanna go Bangkok someday and I don't want to see the place contaminated with diseases and people grieving...

Can't wait for my payday at the end of November. That's pretty long...

君と時間を過ごす方がましです。

First Step onto the Career Path

2011-10-23T23:59:00.000+08:00

Finally, I've taken the first step into my first career. Things don't look easy as expected and I don't like the environment as expected as well. Haha. Time passed real slow for the first week. I can only get the first pay at the end of next month. Have to be thrifty as much as possible during this period. Luckily my workplace is pretty near. Well, what to do. Let's look at the money first and find another way out. I'm not saying that my colleagues aren't nice, just that I don't like being enclosed and being in a place that sort of lacking life. But let's try my best and stabilise with this job first. Now it's more like training and refresher course phase for me. Let's hope it's not too hectic when the real job starts...

一緒にがんばるよ！

Last Week Of Unemployment

2011-10-16T23:59:00.000+08:00

The Expedition to the East and Around!
On Thursday, went daylight cycling with my buddy around the East. As I'm riding my own bicycle, so I had to leave earlier. It was a bright and sunny day after a week of demoralising rain. Rid my usual way to Pasir Ris Town Park to meet him there for renting his bike. There are several PCN Pitstops around the East for people to rent and stop whichever the Pitstop they prefer to return the bike. Isn't that cool?

PCN Pitstop @ Pasir Ris Town Park

The weather was so hot that I was already perspiring like I've cycled for 30km! Tried to cool myself down with an ice cream while patiently waited for my friend. Then we cycled along the park connector towards Changi Beach Park and had our lunch at Changi Village. Wanton Mee, Carrot cake and Sugarcane drink had had me filled up. And ready for the second part of the journey.

PCN Pitstop @ Changi Beach Park

At a shelter to take a break and some photos.

Cycled towards Changi Costal Road, we saw planes descending and appearing very huge above us and along the Coastal Park Connector, we could see planes taking off along the runway. Took a break at one shelter, just to take pictures of the planes but well, the photos taken weren't that impressive.

A plane took off but it was too far across the road.

Crossed the Changi Coast Road to take a closer picture!

A plane took off but blocked by the fence!

The closest I could take using my Vivaz Pro.

The path ahead towards ECP.

After trying to have a good take of pictures of the planes' departures, we set off towards ECP. As there's nothing much to stay for at ECP and the time was already rather late, around 4+pm, it was time to take another unfamiliar road northwards back to Pasir Ris... Took Siglap Park Connector and almost got lost when the link to Bedok Park Connector was not found. Used the GPS of the phone and we went to Bedok Reservoir instead.

The gravel path along Bedok Reservoir.

Bedok Reservoir.

Rid along the Bedok Reservoir, the Tampines Park Connector was found and The road back was pretty smooth since it linked all the way back to Pasir Ris Park! And there the Eastern Coastal Park Connector Network, CONQUERED!

Ate dinner at White Sands Shopping Centre and continued cycling home after sunset. Total distance travelled: 60.46 km. (New Record!)

Employed!
Finally, after searching and going for numerous interviews, I hastily decided to settle down with one company. Everything was settled within 2 days. A call from recruiter a night before, another call in the morning on the next day for arranging a meeting in the afternoon, and there, settled. The new journey will begin on the coming Monday. Hope the work and environment will be good. This should at least ease some of my financial concerns and hopefully I can enjoy more from now on.

私はあなたと一緒に笑顔にしたい。

The Split Mind

2011-10-09T23:59:00.000+08:00

Imagine beside you, there are a handful of people talking to your ears. It seems like they've no intention of stopping. They are saying all the negative things about you, giving you orders and suggestions of what to do. You can't see them but they stick to you wherever you go. Most of the time, they sound like someone you know, blurring the line between imagination and reality.

With these voices going on and on, it's can affect a person's life. The negativity affects the self-esteem, the hallucinations affect judgments, the noises cause irritation and affect concentration, thus, the person becomes easily frustrated and disorganized. As time goes, it affects the person's thinking process and the person may say things which doesn't make any sense. Besides that, strange movements can also be observed.

If you see anyone close to you who seems to be easily upset by very trivia matters and often carries suspicions that others are viewing them differently..., Don't take it for granted. These are some of the starting symptoms of a person having some mental struggle. Show more concerns and talk more to these people, try and have them open up and not dwell on the issues by themselves.

These are just some of my own observations and opinions.

I have this feeling it's gonna get worse very soon for my sis. As her murmuring are getting more rapid and meaningless, it's like as though I can feel the railway of thoughts rushing through her mind at great speed. You can't stop her because she will deny and unknowingly continue. If you probe her, she will get agitated and push you away. Extra patience, I need extra patience... Simple talk will not work. I need to bring the conversation deeper... But how?

Besides my sis, my mum also depressed again. The negative symptoms of Schizophrenia. Lack interest, don't feel like doing any work, just feel like lying on bed, procrastinating.

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!? Is this some kind of joke?! Sometimes I wonder, could it be my past life was an evil person, that's why they're torturing me? If so, let it be me, don't let them suffer!

Well, after throwing all these out into this virtual space, I still gotta be stronger and face these challenges of my life. I'm not giving up, and you guys better not.

俺はあきらめていない。聞くか?!

I Can Go the Distance...

2011-10-02T23:59:00.000+08:00

Down an unknown road to embrace my fate...
Though that road may wander, it will lead me to you...

The sunset view of the returning cycling trip

On Monday, upon noticing a wonderful weather with plenty of cloud covers, I took a decision to have a short cycling trip even though the forecast predicted that it's gonna rain within the next 3 hours. The rain didn't come and so I extended my journey to the east to Changi Beach Park! It was a smooth journey but filled with excitement as I'd never gone to those familiar places on bike before. Pasir Ris Park, Downtown East, then another 5 km of not-that-familiar places in Changi... It was 6 pm when I reached there and I had to rush back since the dusk was approaching... Total distance travelled: 39 km.

On Friday, as sis' Swensen's voucher gonna expire soon, so the siblings went to have our dinner at Swensen's on another random day. Meet at 8pm but queue until about 9pm then managed to get seats. Could see people holding on to sheets of paper too. All last minute hug Buddha leg. Haha. When it's our turn to be first in the queue, an auntie suddenly walked before us and offered to give us her voucher because the queue was too long for her. She left without getting a penny from us. How nice! Too bad I didn't get a better glimpse of her face. Was she a goddess in disguise? Of all people, why us?
In the end, we only paid $20 for $80 worth of food and ice creams... Wow. I had a Salmon 'N' Mushroom Baked rice and Banana Split for dessert... Well, the food are rather over-priced there in my opinion. Each of us, a main dish and a dessert, that's it.

I still pray one day, you'll find your inner peace...

I'll be there someday,
I will find my way...

僕の道を見つけるでしょう…

Hope is Given to Those who Believe in it

2011-09-25T23:59:00.000+08:00

Been wanting to pay this place a visit for quite a while. Not that I'm a strong believer, but at least it's worth a visit and try.

Thursday, I was wondering why my Mum suddenly asked me to accompany my grandma, together with her for my grandma's eye checkup. The reason was they're going to the Kwan Im Temple at 178 Waterloo Street after the appointment as I did mention to her before that I wanted to visit that place.

Even my ex-colleagues also encouraged me to go and ask for blessings.

To my surprise, even on an ordinary weekday, it was pretty packed. Can't imagine what it looks like during weekend. Paid respect once we stepped into the entrance. Then we went in and my mum used the divining sticks, "Qian" to help me asked for my luck in work. It's an average Qian, and it advises me to wait and be patient. Well, just hope the day will come really soon...

One other, in fact the main reason we went was to ask for blessing for my sis. Wish for her good health... Her advice was to be herself, and don't worry about the rest. Heed the advice given. Well, all that are really what she needs now, especially since young she's been very obstinate and refuses to listen to any advice. As time goes, I think it develops into narrow-mindedness. Whatever it is, we'll be there supporting her until the day she's willing to listen...

僕を必要とされますとき、ちょうど私の名前を呼んで、私はそこにいる...

The Random and Rare Family Dinner

2011-09-18T23:59:00.000+08:00

Went Orchard Hotel on Friday evening for a sumptuous Teochew Porridge Buffet at La Terrasse. Upon entering, the most prominent structure that caught my eyes would be the giant clock tower. Very beautifully-crafted structure right in the middle of the grand hall.

There are quite a number of choices of bars and restaurants in this very hotel namely, Orchard Cafe and Intermezzo Bar at Level 1 and Hua Ting Restaurant with La Terrasse at Level 2.

At 2nd Storey, the feeling of being cuddled by the amber lightings from all directions, gives you a calming ambience that seemed to provide everyone that came with a weary heart from a busy day of never-ending work, with serenity that brought about a sense of comfort.

While waiting for the arrival of the rest of my family members, my tranquil mind was awaken by a string of unknown melodies that gave the hotel an extra touch of class. It was coming from the direction of the giant clock and circling around, there was actually a lonely solo pianist, wearing dark coat and playing a usual black shiny grand piano blending with the dark carpet and the giant clock, sacrificing his existence and unnecessary physical attention, by becoming one with the environment to give every individual the added feeling of solace. How noble indeed...

Beautiful calligraphy on the

porcelain that holds the

chopsticks.

Finally, as time had already past the intended 8 PM, a familiar group of faces appeared underneath (I was at level 2 while they were at Level 1. XD). It's time for the long-awaited family dinner. We never had a meal together completely as a family for more than a decade or we might never even have once... What a precious dinner.

The buffet was a fairly plain and simple one. It actually looked just like what my Mum cooks at times. Very simple yet heartwarming. 3 types of porridge to choose from: plain, with sweet potatoes or fish porridge. The other dishes were also pretty average looking.

You could say the dishes certainly looked really simple, but they were pretty delicious to be honest. And of course, my Mum still gotta work harder to compete. Opps. =X

They also have Kong Bak Pau! Managed to squeeze in 2 or 3 of them after the porridge meal. For the desserts, we had chocolate cakes, not sure if they have any special name for it, but they were delicious. I had 3/5 slices as the rest had already raised their white flags. Just about 2 mouthful and each slices was ended in my filled stomach.

It was a quality time with my family. Very rare and precious family time to be honest. Let's wish we can have more, though it's not in my family culture.

Finally, my temp job has come to an end. Another bunch of good people to work with, very easy to communicate, just that probably this was a busy period, the work kept piling and piling like it's getting out of hand. The two most senior colleagues treated me a farewell lunch! Too bad, I'm not really into HR, but I'm truly grateful for the patience and trust they gave. We'll meet again if fate allows. 后会有期。

And with that, I'm back, as an unemployed...

私が欲しいものは、簡単の幸福だけです。

A Decade after 9/11 Terrorist Attack

2011-09-11T23:59:00.000+08:00

明月几时有？

It was a year after we crossed the Millenium... It was all too sudden... A decade back, on this very day, New York suffered several devastating terrorist attacks. The unrest was accumulated until a point that such drastic measures had to be taken. When is it going to end...? Live and let live (is that how it's used?)... Well, you know what I mean... Let's just forget the past and move on to a better future. Let's not try and take any others' advantages to our own gains... Living together on this globe harmoniously, isn't it wonderful? ... Is this even possible...? Well...

一年一度的中秋节又到了！虽然明天才是中秋节，今晚的月亮，在中午下过倾盆大雨的夜空，独自绽放着光芒。即使看上去很高，很小，但还是能够勾住我的视线。不管是观音菩萨，嫦娥，月老，还是玉兔，你们在吗？有在注视着我们吗？要祈祷我们一切平安，幸福，健康，快乐！

怀念当初提灯笼，玩蜡烛，sparkles（火花？）。年少无知地用sparkles制造太空梭，一个个地板都给我烧黑了！

但愿人长久，千里共婵娟…

中秋愉快！

月は私の心を代表します…

Something's Missing...

2011-09-04T23:59:00.001+08:00

How long has it been...?

Have been seriously thinking of quitting the current temporary job. It'll be either the end of this coming week, or the following week. After earning a month of salary, it would be wise to leave as it has no added-value in my resume. After browsing through files and files of resumes... The thought, "what have I been doing?" ran through my mind. There're thousands and millions of people like me, with the same aspiration, and they've already been working hard, making it happen... Why am I still cuddling in my comfort zone, observing and observing. Not a step out...

Since I'm the 埋头苦干-type, looks like I'm meant to be an engineer after all. I don't wanna care about my aspiration anymore. Let's put it aside first. Finding a job and settle down is more important.

Looks like mum's getting better. Not afraid of stepping out anymore. Slowly get used back to her normal life, Mum~ You can do it!

One slowly getting back her life, the other, faces the agony of reaching the edge of her relationship. I don't know what exactly happened but the fact that it's making my sis behaving abnormally like a mentally-challenged individual... I think it'd be wise to snap out of it, put it to rest and get back a life.

Ask and you shall be given...

僕の記憶は、君の記憶と密接に絡み合っている。

Creeping near to the end of August

2011-08-28T23:59:00.001+08:00

August is coming to an end. The ghostly gate is closing and the good brothers are going back. Last burst of emission of smoke and ashes for those who wanna send their regards with the offerings.

Last night, Singapore held her Presidential Election and we have a new Mr. President. Well, I don't really care who he is, whoever is being elected, is not gonna get an easy life. All of us are watching... It was a tough fight, and it shows we had 2 big opposing group of supporters. In the end, let's not argue or speculate how we might suffer. Let us work together and ensure he does a good job. Onward Singapore!

One more holiday on Tuesday! Why isn't Monday a public holiday? Rah~ One more day and we can have another rest day again! Cool. Looking forward. =)

楽しく暮らすお願い。

Switched from Nike to Adidas

2011-08-27T16:00:00.002+08:00

Alright, after seasons of sticking to the slick but non-durable Nike, it's time to give Adidas a chance to impress. With feedback that Adidas boots are more durable, I'm gonna test it myself.

P.S. This post was meant to be a yardstick for me to see how long this pair of boots can last.

Restoring Equilibrium of Life

2011-08-21T23:59:00.001+08:00

Decided to go for a position totally different to what I'm studying in uni. It's near to what I wanted in life but not quite exact. Let's hope I can do well for the interview.

Life has been normal so far. Mum's back to work despite her mental state. But she's better. Come on~ bring back her smile, bring back her life...

Just when my pocket went busted, I received some unexpected allowance by my 外婆 as I heard the 4D that I helped her buy a few weeks ago was first prize! She didn't win much though. But nonetheless, her help was deeply appreciated. Come on September, I prefer using money that I earn! XD

私の名前はあなたの辞書にあるか?

Happy 46th National Day, Singapore!

2011-08-14T23:59:00.000+08:00

Once again, here we are, celebrating our Nation's birthday again. Heard positive feedback about the parade from my family, too bad I went out to buy dinner and missed some parts. Oh well, think it's more or less the same as every year. Haha, it's ok for me. It has been sometime since I've watched firework, it would be nice to catch it again soon~

Bank is drying up for August, I need my pay real soon!

2人がお互いのために作られているとき、どんな時間もそれほど長くはありません、そして、どんな距離もそれほど遠くはありません、そして、だれも彼らをばらばらにすることができません。

In the Midst of Job Hunting

2011-08-07T23:59:00.000+08:00

It's August already!! Time just keeps slipping away from the procrastinator!

Since it's still a struggle to find a permanent job, I might as well go for some temp job! Got a job as temp admin, starting work tomorrow! It's been a while since I last worked in an office... Hope I still have some discipline in me. Working hours: Mon-Thurs 0830 to 1800, Fri 0830 to 1730.

Hope I can start a perm job soon!

1 more day to National Day~ Been playing National songs to build up the mood~ Let's flood the streets and households into a sea of red~ Amplify the Kallang Roar, Swing together in the Kallang Wave, let's reach every corners of our small island! 自high~ XD

Happy National Day in advance! Majulah Singapura!

私はまだ機会がありますか?

Graduated lo~~

2011-07-31T23:59:00.001+08:00

Hoho~ Time flies isn't it? 4 years after my NS, and here I am, on the verge of breaking into a new stage of life~

I can't imagine I actually survived, after several friends warned me about the harsh challenges of this faculty. In the 4 years, I saw course mates dropping out, 'da bao 打包' (me too), retained... Very disheartening at times, but I'm really thankful to all my friends who stayed with me and helped me throughout these tough 4 years...

Now we're breaking into August... I won't allow myself to slack too long. At this rate I should be going into temporary job first while looking for a permanent job. Almost going back to my year 2 temporary job at SIM again. But a better deal came right on the verge before I entered the agency. If nothing goes wrong, I should be starting temp on August 8. We shall see... Money, money, come, come! \($_$ )/

あなたが流れ星を見れば、何を願うことか？

No Money, No Activity?

2011-07-24T23:59:00.011+08:00

It's kinda sad my July wasn't meant to be what I wanted -- Eventful. With very limited left to spend, I had to save as much as possible. I still have to spend though, or else I might really die from excessive self-home-grounded syndrome. Hm.... What activities to do which don't have to spend much/at all? Hm...

Convocation is really just 3 days away, but whether my parents are going is really a question. I'm not really concerned though, whether they're really going, just hope they are healthy and cheerful. Mum's condition really not that good. I've no idea what I can do already. At times, I felt really angry at her, how can she let it devouring her? How can she not doing anything about it? I can't see the desire and determination in her eyes to be better again. All I can see is a pair of eyes reflecting self-pity and waiting someone/something to cure her. I always believe one should have the control over his/her own mind unless against Alzheimer's disease. No way should a depression be so easily taken over the control of the whole body. Sometimes, her slothful and sloppy look really irritates me. It's not that she can't move, it's not that she's injured, she is in fact, physically well. Ok, enough spitting of my negative thoughts.

It's a challenge for me. The level just gets higher and higher. I need to find my way deep into your mind and find out what exactly is wrong inside. The source has to be the key. I'll free you from your cell of darkness. But I'm telling you... Don't ever give up. FIGHT!

私の心はあなたの手にあるので...

On the Hunt for the Right Direction...

2011-07-17T23:59:00.000+08:00

Half of July gone. Status: Still unemployed... Title: Slacker.

Finally my instinctively, the most probable company called but the offer was too low and I rejected it. I've already lowered my expectation taking into account of my unglamorous grade as compared to my course-mates. So, I won't except anything lower than that... Unless I'm really that desperate... Which is about... Soon. Come on~ Give me more better options~ Prove that I'm right in rejecting that offer.

Most of the time, it's not that I'm not without any plan with my finance, it's more like I never expect that it would 'leak' out so huge chunks by chunks. I wanna complain that I have a very 'generous' father which has no financial awareness that he's been doing some bad business and having debts even though he's not a smoker and he didn't borrow from loan shark. Whatever it is, you're always the external factor that I failed to consider in my financial plans. I can't save, and yet I can't enjoy. Simply frustrating. Ok, what can I say, what can I do? Better find a job and it should be alleviated at least. You better buck up and wake up your idea.

私たちは同じ空を見ているか…

The Beginning of the Eventful July

2011-07-10T23:59:00.017+08:00

Finally the time has come for mum to undergo her surgery. Had been dragging too long. She should have undergone the surgery long time ago but due to her mental state, she hesitated for quite a while. I'm glad we had come this far...

The operation was a long one. 4+ hours! There's also a minor incident happened during the operation. The incident seriously made me think that I should visit a dentist soon. My family is one of those with low dental awareness and knowledge. Kinda regret that I didn't listen to the advices when I'm young. Hopefully I can gather enough courage to visit one real soon.

Let this be a good start to the eventful July! And hope to find and start work on August!

私はいつもここにいる。

Happy Birthday to Me! It's My Birthday Week!!

2011-07-03T23:59:00.003+08:00

This should be one of the best ICT I've ever had. Basically we had fun, fun and more fun. Played Frisbee and Touch Rugby. Frisbee was fun, but touch rugby was boring. I even have refresher courses on some other recreational games! I had plenty of fun, got best result in a test, got letter of commendation, got a surprise birthday celebration, we drank and we sang~ What more can I ask for? It's more like a resort!! I don't really enjoy being much of an attention, but when I accidentally do, why not? I don't really like to drink but I certainly like other people to drink and let their laughters affect me! Drunk people do silly things, say silly things, really funny. And there it went, 10 days of fun times~ The brothers in arms are getting closer! I like that feeling.

Things weren't as great when I came back. The 2 most worrying members of my family are still as worrying. In fact, it seems like gotten worst. Come on, snap out of it! The world isn't as bad, look on the positive side! In life we often regret on things we did, or things we didn't do. But it's not about brooding and dwelling, life is about constant changing to be better and most important, to believe. To believe life will eventually get better, to believe it's not totally bad, to believe you are not the only one, to believe... Just believe...

Thank you all who wished me! Wish you guys healthy and happy! Cheers~

私はあなたの夢を入力する機会がありますか...

3 More Days to Civilian Again!

2011-06-26T16:45:00.006+08:00

To be frank, it's like a holiday for me. I actually quite enjoying it. There was plenty of free times, we slept and slept and slept again. I don't want to get that "nua" feeling again. So a few of us went for run or some static exercises. Monday to Wednesday were running and static exercises, Thursday and Friday we played Frisbee! It is a difficult game. To spin, throw and keep running wasn't easy! Need practice! And to spin and curl is a beautiful act, but hard to master too! All my body aching were from the games of Frisbee! Oh and not to forget, Wednesday we actually had a night out, and some of us went JP and watched Hangover 2! Just some crazy people getting drunk/drugged and doing all the crazy and stupid stuff. Just hope I never gonna experience all these.

Of course I wasn't totally slacking inside, when the duty calls, we stepped up. Quite happy that I topped in one of the exams. 97%. If only that's for my grade in university. And the bad thing was, since I topped it, I almost got myself arrowed to take part in another evaluation test. Luckily, I managed to divert the arrows. However, think I got myself sort of prominent and I actually got selected for another evaluation. Damn, gotta remember in army, don't go for the top. You'll just make yourself a human target... Stay low... Gotta remember that.

3 more days!! Can't wait...

これまでに私の考えたことがありますか？

A Day Before ICT

2011-06-19T23:59:00.045+08:00

It's time for the annual army period again. This time round it's 10 days... Gotta be on high alert while inside with real live rounds firing and invisible 'arrows' flying everywhere...

What am I gonna do when I'm inside, at night with nothing to do? Read books? Read what? No connections, no smartphone, I'm gonna be bored to death inside...

Let the 10 days pass by fast and smoothly...

Stumble and tumble along the way and here we are, no matter how well or how bad we've done, the middle of the year. Looking back on the goals I've set, how many have I actually achieved and adhering to them... I wonder.

July will be the month of change. I think it's time for me to pay the dental clinic a visit. Dental clinic just gives me the creep and bad memories... Hopefully it won't cost me a bomb.

私は私自身が行うよりも私を知っている誰かを必要とする。
多分、その人は既に現れた...

As We Go On...

2011-06-12T23:59:00.001+08:00

Finally I can proudly say I graduated! Ok~ Not exactly proud of my grade, but I endured through this gruesome 4 years of codes, codes and more codes. *Puke*

Well, I can't say I didn't learn anything, just that I actually found myself to be a critic of the technology. I believe the strive to access greater convenience will eventually cause further damage on the Earth... To challenge Nature is to challenge our Existence. Trying ways to break or hinder with the circle of life will only lead to further complications... Technology has to be handled with care...

Ok, probably I'm going a little too far. Haha. Don't agree? Just treat it as crap. No obligation.

Apart from graduating from that not-so-fun 4 years of coding and coding, I also ended my 8 months part-time job that has been burning my weekends and diminishing my passion... Finally, a little smell of freedom~ Of course it can't last long. Hope to find a job and start by August or else it'll be a little hard to survive again. Where would I end up in? Which company has to gut to hire this lowly graded graduate? We shall see about that.

~~17th~~ 20th June gonna book in for ICT. This time round it's high key. Initially they left me out, so I was actually grabbing the arrows and stabbing myself. But due to the fact that it's high key, it is of some importance that I clear it. Else the 2/3 low keys before that were totally wasted. Don't know how long I can still serve my duty. Knee giving way, back aching easily... I'm in a weak body but with a strong passion... How I wish the passion will prevail, but as an advocate to the life cycle and nature, I know it'll come a day I accept the cold and brutal truth --- the loss of control to my body.

私たちが先へ進むように．．．

Vacation Mode... Or just Vacation Mood

2011-06-05T23:59:00.001+08:00

Skipped a week's post just because there's simply nothing to blog about...

Still looking for job and when I really found one which really sounds interesting, I had to be stopped from going to the interview. I agreed to cover my colleague, and we failed to find another replacement, so I had to keep my words isn't it? Sigh... Perhaps, no fate with this job. Who knows, maybe it isn't that great after all? Let's move on and find another... No big deal. Just frustrated. Boo.

Mum's health getting better. 8th July will be the operation date. Hope everything goes smoothly. Hope she'll be permanently well again. Both, physically and mentally. I believe she will... So in the meantime while we're trying our best to bring her back to normal, please the other family members, I need your cooperations and less trouble. Especially the eldest of the siblings, the champion of beating around the bush. Sudden yelling and whining without proper explanation. Another mentally-challenged individual. I'm no worm in any of your stomachs, any problems, just speak out can? I'm a low IQ & EQ individual with bad guessing accuracy. I'd rather save the brain cells to solving your problems than to guess what are your problems... Please do me a favor and do yourself a favor. Open up!

Looking for a little escape in mid-July... Where should I go...? Bintan? Batam? Bali...? Hm... Get me outta here!!

すべての旅先は、あなたと周りで美しいされます。

Last Semester... OVER and OUT!!

2011-05-24T12:08:00.001+08:00

Well, it's over but I'm not officially out yet. It all depends on my results... Please all the kind markers... Pass me! Let me go! XD

Final paper wasn't good as expected. Just hope the good lecturers could just give me a passing grade. Good enough to let me go.

Oral Presentation, which was on the 23rd, was an exciting and happening one. Everything last minute. Completed my slides just before I had to move out. No rehearsal at all. Reached campus but realised the location wasn't at my laboratory. Asked around and no one knew where's the place. When I pressed the button to go level 2 to look for help at the general office, I saw a room name kinda fit the name stated in the studentlink. Took a gamble and yup, a student just finished and both my prof and examiner were inside. Phew~ Right on time. Then without any rehearsal, I still managed to smoke for about 20 mins at my comfortable pace. Q & A also went ok. Though some questions which I can't seem to find an answer I just say, that's for future work and they bought it! Nice people. XD Overall, solo presentation really no need much preparation and certainly lesser audience does boost your confidence a bit.

Now, it's time to focus on looking for jobs!!

My elder sister also randomly bought a watch for me. Should be to congratulate my graduation and time to help ease her load for supporting the family. XD Anyway, really grateful for that. It's a G-Shock! Think can last a few years~ But might not fit office wear as it's a digital watch... Not really concern about that. I'm not really a fashionista anyway.

This week gotta work all the way until Sunday. Though Tuesday to Thursday are only halfday, it's still... work. Last day working here will be on the 12th. Faster over, I want my weekends back!

私たちの運命は何ですか？

Last Semester, Week 15: Still fighting

2011-05-15T23:59:00.000+08:00

In the middle of the exams. This week saw one more paper down. Pretty disappointed with this paper. Too many concepts to grasp, too hard for my brain to take. Please, I just want a pass will do.

Left the final paper, another tough one. Momentum already lost and motivation gone. Still, all the best to myself. Finding all ways to drill as many concepts or formulas into my memory.

To lighten the mood, there's something to celebrate for, Manchester United won their 19th league title! New record! What a hard fought season!! To speak the truth, their performance this season wasn't as good as the previous few, but still they could grind out as the Champions. Impressive. More to come, a double is possible if they win the Champions' League! Let's go for it!!

Tomorrow will be the final paper. Then I shall relax a bit, and do the stupid slides for my FYP. Waste of my time. Too many things to do after that, I don't know where to start!!!

予測不可能な未来のために、私はこの瞬間を放棄する意思はない…

Last Semester, Week 14: The Battle is ON! It's Exam Time!

2011-05-08T23:59:00.003+08:00

Finally the time has come. The final exam in my 4-year computer engineering course. I have to admit, the last year has been the toughest due to various issues in several aspects of my life. Many tough decisions to make, with strong beliefs and perseverance. I'm glad I've survived up till now. And I'm surviving still. This last exams my wish would be just simply pass all and graduate. I'm would be very contented already.

May 7th, a rather eventful day. The start of my final exam, my nation's polling day, Jolin Tsai's Singapore concert, 黑人 and 范范's wedding.

Didn't sleep the night before my exam and I did alright for the exam~ Phew~ I was expecting to do much worse due to I was only considered to begin studying the day before. After the exam, came back home had my lunch before leaving for the polling centre. First ever vote for me. Then watched the results all the way until 2+am the next day. All the negativities which are voices of pro-opposition were pretty strong this time round but still, the ruling party claimed 90+% of the seats. Nonetheless, we're all concerned about our own nation and always hope to create a better Singapore for the future generations...

一緒に明るい未来へ歩いてみましょう...

Last Semester, Week 13: Last Week Before the Start of the Final Battle

2011-05-01T23:59:00.000+08:00

Another week has passed... Still no revision. I'm so dead. The polling day will be my first examination date... That's less than a week... Oh my.

Finally after 5 years, it's my country's turn for general election. This time round, we can see a huge pool of younger generation voicing out their discontent, from virtual communities, from various ministerial meeting sessions... Some even dare to directly pose sarcastic questions to our MPs. I wonder if this freedom of speech could sense trouble. I guess now it's up to them to find the correct answers to ease the tensions... Just hope all these would not turn this place into chaos...

This time round, I'll be able to vote... Who to vote for... Hm...

何を夢見たいか私に書いて、言ってください。

Last Semester, Week 12: End of Lectures

2011-04-24T23:59:00.000+08:00

Rushed and handed in a report this week. Last one to go!!

2 weeks to exams... Still one assignment in hand, haven't even study finish. Have to clear that bloody assignment and start on my revision!!

Still no interviews and the job hunt was put on hold due to loads of projects... I don't want to graduate as an unemployed!! Have I gone so unnoticeable that no one notices me at all...? No one should doubt my ability... Results don't prove my competency. Which company dares to hire me will soon discover they actually find a gem in a mud! Wahaha... Where did this confidence come from...? Hm...

The question lies in what I actually wanna achieve in life...

待ち時間が長いです...

Last Semester, Week 11: The End of Strength Training

2011-04-17T23:59:00.000+08:00

This week marked the end of my strength training - the crash course for gym instructor. Been working on the periodization and training program on both Monday and Tuesday intensively and at least, came out a decent one. Learnt some human anatomical terms and proper postures for carrying weights... Not bad, given that I have no time for much physical training due to work and studies.

The feeling of exams is getting nearer and nearer as lectures are coming to an end. Friday also marked the end for one of the modules, evening class. That too might mean the last dinner in NTU...

2 more assignments! And we're going right into the exam. Freaking fast. Focus, more focus needed.

期待しないとは失望がないでしょう。

Last Semester, Week 10: Reports and MORE Reports

2011-04-10T23:59:00.000+08:00

Reports and reports. Why are there so many reports this last semester!! These reports better push me to at least pass my modules...

Strength Training Practical Test wasn't that bad. Missed quite some points but hopefully still can get Satisfactory. Seriously the presence of the instructor was intimidating. Gave the exercise name and kept silence throughout. Hate the feeling of people staring at me when I do work. Her smile at the end did gave me a "not bad, better-than-expected" feeling. But who knows it might be just a "oh cool, one student cleared" expression. Haha. Please let me pass! (>_<)

Periodization chart is a headache. There're too many variations to it that I'm feeling so lost! And the speed when she gave the tips was too fast. I'm not a recorder for goodness sake!

4 assignments to be cleared by week 11. Periodization chart, Training Program Design, Simulation and Modelling program and report. Go Go Go!!!

手錠のようなあまりにも美しい記憶。

Last Semester, Week 9: FYP Final Report... Done.

2011-04-03T23:59:00.000+08:00

What a hectic week. Monday and Tuesday stayed in school until 8+PM. I knew I'm seriously behind for my FYP final report. Wednesday had to work and Thursday stayed up all night and finally I managed to wrap it up at around 3PM on the deadline, Friday. What a tough week indeed. Totally deprived of sleep. Finally managed to comfortably lie down at around 1AM on Saturday~ Back ached.

Well, can't say I've done a good job on the report. 40+ pages, 7,000+ words. The limit for us was not to exceed 10,000 words. Fair on that. Sad to say that FYP hasn't ended yet. One amended report which is not for grading, and oral presentation. Waste time. 3 more assignments from other modules to go! All within these coming 2 weeks! Need more focus! I still need to study for exams! Roaarrrr~

Important this coming week: Principles of Strength Training Practical Test. Act like a gym instructor I must. XD

Calling for more time more time!!

私はナイーブだから、奇跡が起こると考えて。

Last Semester, Week 8: Last Stretch

2011-03-27T23:59:00.000+08:00

Alright, we're back from recess week. Critical 2 months of reports deadline congestion coming up. Busy, busy, busy!

School reopened and I've missed quite a lotsa lectures already. FYP one day not finished, where to find mood for attending the lectures...?

This weekend was slightly different from before. Saturday got mobilised, wasted a day in camp rotting. Did a last minute packing. I'm operational ready ok? Anytime. And there goes my Saturday salary. Man.
Today we went tomb-sweeping as usual. I was so worried that I would be late for my work in the afternoon. Well, I was still late, but barely 5 minutes. Phew~ Rush.

Time to get really serious. I wanna grad, I must grad. Will try to go school from morning till night. Please don't give me any more outer trouble. I need to fully concentrate on my studies.

Calling for Energy and Motivation. Let's stick together for this tough time. We can do it!

Wish me luck!

如何お過ごしですか。お体を大切に。

Last Semester, Recess Week: When Unproductive is an Understatement.

2011-03-20T23:59:00.000+08:00

It's supposed to be a week to rush projects, catch-up and revise my schoolwork. But time flashed passed leaving me stranded and pondering what have I actually done throughout the week.

Finally started poking into typing my FYP implementations in... That's the 3rd last chapter and supposedly the longest chapter. Whole of the week I only barely squeezed out 2 sections of it. Freaking slow.

What other significant progress? None. Well done. I seriously should give myself a huge and loud smack on my gluteus maximus! Why so slow??

Some little things just kept popping and pissing me out... I need to calm down. The vexation was especially overwhelming over the past 2 days.

Emotions should not get better of me. Keep it and burn it off!

Tomorrow will be better! New fresh days ahead! It's the final lap... Yosh~!

あなたは幸せに暮らしているように限り…

Last Semester, Week 7: Japan 8.9 Magnitude Earthquake!

2011-03-13T11:59:00.006+08:00

Edited: I've decided to change this post title to something of more significance and meaningful.

Got the news from the words of my sis and on the news on that fateful Friday, March 11, 2011. When I heard of the magnitude, I was pretty shocked. Before that I never even heard of any earthquake greater than 8 on the Richter scale. When they described the Tsunami that followed was 10m high, I couldn't even imagine how high or scary it could be. Of course, I lived in comfort for this many years, how could I ever be of the same feeling as those who experienced these before...?

The Earth, once again shook as though it's sending a huge warning for every one of us, of its end. The shakes of smaller magnitude were so common that Japan is already pretty well prepared with their stringent building code. Zero building collapses. However, what's destructive, was the Tsunami, ruthlessly swept away homes and lives, and even caused widespread fire. How clever, Poseidon, the god of sea as well as the "Earth-shaker". Though I'm not someone who experienced all these, I too hate it, when these "natural" disasters strike, all the helpless humans could, was to helplessly wait till it's over. All these shouldn't even occur. For what purpose do these exists?

Some say this is the retribution that their old generation caused, but I say let's just blame the individuals, not the innocents. We are all working and trying our best to make our lives more comfortable, more convenient, but when such disaster strikes, everything, every effort are wiped out. It's just like a black hole which whatever it sucks in, whatever is considered lost. It's a shameful flaw of the universe...

E-Learning Week:
Eeee~ Learning week. Don't really care about e-learning throughout my 4 years. Always given this impression that the topics to learn during e-learning are useless and insignificant.

Haven't been productive. Usually I could at least revise something, but well, why like no time and no progress? Must be FYP! (-__-)

New place explored! St. James Gallery Bar, Power House, Dragonfly... Cool. Well, too dark and 花天酒地. Like the concert feel though. I could shout out loud, sing along, and still couldn't hear my own voice. Nice place to relieve stress. XD

1 more week to complete my FYP report! The recess week next! But still, Wednesday and Thursday gotta go back school...

Chiong ah~ Finish up this stupid FYP and I may float a little already (lesser load). XD
好し～

世界が離れて壊している。我々は、時間がない…

Last Semester, Week 6: Term 1 Over!

2011-03-06T11:59:00.007+08:00

Look how time flies! It's the end of Term 1 already! Next week will be E-learning week except Wednesday gotta go back for elective and Thursday for FYP meeting. I don't have to go to that freaking far place legally for the rest of the week!

FYP report left 2 weeks to complete, freaking no time. I couldn't even explain what I'm actually doing. Sigh~

List of assignments:

FYP
Computer Vision Lab reports
Simulation and Modelling assignment
Principles of Strength Training Periodization Schedule

I've already come so far, I can't give up now, the finishing line is really really just so near! Final boost! Come on! Sprint towards the finishing line~!

不會輕易放棄，我是打不死的小強！

ただ、言いたいです:
あなたがだれかを必要とすると、私はそこにいるでしょう。

Last Semester, Week 5: Career Fair!

2011-02-28T12:42:00.000+08:00

It's the career fair week!

Wearing formal walking around looking for nothing that interest me was a tiring experience. After studying computer engineering, I know, programmer is never my kind of job. I have a very unrealistic dream, and it certainly won't be enough to support my family... I don't know if I will ever get that job, but I know, even if I never be certified, I can still be doing the thing that I aspire to be. For now, supporting family first.

For the 2 days of career fair, I've given out a total of 8 resumes. Hopefully I can get a good job. Work-life balance is definitely my number one priority. I'm not gonna die working, it's never worth it. I'd rather die playing.

This year can really see people having thoughts of shifting jobs, reconsidering their options... The planetary movements in the universe really have impacts on everyone of us.

あなたが好きにして自分を愛することを学ぶ。

Last Semester, Week 4: No Place Like Home.

2011-02-20T23:59:00.001+08:00

This week saw me pushing myself further, doing things I've been taking for granted up till present. I'm still ashamed that I'm still doing little, but that's all I could do for now. I don't have too much time to spare.

Washing dishes isn't a difficult task, as long as we cooperate, wash our own dishes after meals, then it won't cause a mountain to build up, and demoralizing the next one to wash. Apparently, most of us still taking that for granted. Washing clothes, especially handwashing is one the toughest of the housework~ So difficult to wash, so hard to twist and squeeze~ It's even more tough than gym workout.

Trying my best to etch this habit into my life...

Next week is the career fair week, gonna wear formally for 2 days. Haven't prepare resume yet~ So troublesome. But I need to ensure I got a job before I graduate. So, suck thumb lo. My hair sucks now, so I think my grooming gonna be bad... Need a personal professional hairstylist la~ No, I need to go for hair implantation! XD

私は待って続ける，
将来のために待っている。

Last Semester, Week 3: School Starts, And it's Over.

2011-02-14T01:16:00.001+08:00

School officially starts this week. Still skipping some lectures because I couldn't wake up. Insomnia getting worse with cough throughout the night. Have to quickly get back to normal life, or I'll really die in this semester.

I'm advised to be defensive this year as it's not favorable to be aggressive. Indeed, I think it's so true. When the day comes near, more things revealed and I think it's time for me to put it to rest.

This year's general horoscope for Cancer:

This year's Ang Bao's income is very much lesser than before. No chance to meet some of the relatives. Too bad, it's coming to an end. One group of relatives that we haven't go visit is one of my favourite family! Their whole family is very nice and kind~ Nevermind, just that all of the cousins have their own families, I guess it's difficult to meet up.

I shall concentrate on my studies and future career for this year...

Edited: Oh, how could I forget... Happy Valentines' Day!

より良い選択のために行きなさい。私ではない。

Last Semester, Week 2: 恭喜發財！

2011-02-06T23:59:00.001+08:00

It's the Lunar New Year week!

Didn't have the best celebration this year due to some family issues, mood totally affected. Couldn't do anything right. All things seemed going against me at the moment. Time especially choking me real badly. FYP kept floating around my head but totally no motivation to do. And FYP is affecting my other modules as well.

Recently temper a little short, patience easily ran out, and I'm easily getting frustrated. Read the astrology and true enough, it's advised that I should control my emotions and remain calm during this period. Let me apologize in advance if I ever fail to control my temper for this year...

This year I would have to seriously give a deep thought about my responsibilities. I think it's time to really think about who I am, who I wanna be, etc.

I shall take a deep breath every now and then. Everything will be just fine...

Once again~ 兔年快樂！身體健康！

私の家族を放っておいてください。

Last Year, Last Semester: Week 1

2011-01-31T04:00:00.000+08:00

First week of school started! But this semester, we had the hardest selections ever... No matter what major electives I choose, none of them makes the best combination... Hopefully the finalized combination would be good. First week of school already missing not one, not two, but three lectures... wait... could be more... but heck it.

Until I've settled my timetable, I seriously have no mood to attend any lectures. Please let me settle before Chinese New Year. I need to rush report for FYP too. Haven't even start... Am I digging my own grave...? This Chinese New Year, gotta rush report. Only have very limited days to come up with something to show... Didn't have a good start, but I shall take it one at a time, step by step.

3 more days and we're gonna wave goodbye to the tiger and welcome the rabbit year~ FYP certainly spoils quite a bit of the mood. Hope it'll just end quickly.

Alright, hope all have a good year ahead~ Happy Rabbit Year~!!!

君を思えているから、寂しい…

The Resolutions 2011

2011-01-17T16:15:00.003+08:00

My 2011 Resolutions will be...

To learn to cook new dishes!
To take up driving lessons. (That's if financially able to.)
To force myself to visit a dentist! (I hate that place!)

To be consistently observed:

To learn how to show more love and care for my family and friends. (Well, I always do, just never show)
To be more punctual.
To be less ideally orientated.
To improve and maintain my stamina.
To bring down my haha point!

Yup, that's about it. I think...

Hm... 2010 very sad, it's only till the end of the year, then I managed to push myself to make a cheesecake. And it's not even consider cooking! Will be considering those easy and made before by my sis... Sushi, spaghetti, fried rice,... I could understand the trouble looking for ingredients even when I was just making the no-bake cheesecake... Well, shall see if I would really try and cook these.

COE has risen so badly that I really can't see myself owning a car in the near future... But Dad has been consistently pestering me to go learn driving without considering our family's financial status. As long as it's stable, I will learn. Give me a stable job with good income.

I should be one of the regular patrons to dental clinics up till my secondary school days. Have dental problems since young. Wondering when I'd turn toothless just like my Grandma... Maybe of even earlier age than her. Desperately need to visit a dentist.

Probably due to past experience or just my personality, it's always difficult for me to show care and concern. There's always this fear of rejection... What am I afraid of...? So what if I got rejected...? Is it really so hard to take...? All I know is if I never try, I will never know...

I noticed I'm always aiming to reach a meeting destination on time instead of reaching earlier... And half of the time, I reached late. Need to keep a closer and better track of time.

In order to be more happy in 2011, I need to be less idealistic, take away that perfectionist mentality and just aim for good enough. Sometimes, I just want things to go totally my way that I'm always not satisfied and make myself miserable. Just good enough is good enough. =)

Turned Cat Y last year. If I could just go on and improve my stamina by a bit, it's possible for me to achieve gold! That's if my body parts aren't failing and I believe they're not! Just believe.

I realised the number of jokes that I came across was so large, that most of the time, I can't bring myself to really laugh when friends crack a joke. Don't have to care if your laughter is funny, don't have to care if your image is wrecked, if it's funny, why not? Just laugh! HAHAHA

2011, another turning point of my life, gonna step out into the working society and the starting of what we call, a career... Let's smile and greet the world!

Welcome 2011~!!!

2011-01-12T00:55:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year! Wow, look how time flies... It's 2011 already!

Didn't really pay much attention to the resolutions I've set for myself last year and here we are, a new year, a new start again. Been neglecting this blog as I'm a little lazy and lost on what to post about here.

Will compile my 2011 resolution soon. Revised my last year's resolution... Hm... I think I've been trying to fulfill them throughout the year, but some still really need to buck up more.

11 days have already gone for 2011, wow~ We're left with 354 days left!

Wish all a Happy New Year, let this 2011 be a fulfilling year, and most importantly, let's us all be happy lucky!

2010 Flashbacks

2010-12-27T13:01:00.000+08:00

In another few days time, we're coming to an end of 2010...

This very year has been rather eventful for me.

First half of the year been like a dream.

The year started with anxiety as I'm attached out by school to work. It seemed even worst when I'm late on the first day of work. However, as a lone ranger from my faculty, I'm already mentally prepared that I'm gonna be alone or even the only one representing NTU. However, it took me by surprise there's a classroom full of attached students similar to me. It's always hard to socialize for a person like me but I'm glad that I'm not ostracized or discriminated. What actually amazed me was the quality of this bunch of students... As we got to know one another more, I realized they're a bunch of sparkling leaders waiting to shine as they prepared to step out to the society. I'm certainly impressed.

First half of 2010 really flew by like a gush of wind, like good times always passes fast... I'd never worked for a company for that long and I feel I could still go on. Thanks to your company.

Years after army, finally I got a chance to change my phone. It's time to get smart~ I got myself a smartphone! *OK, not much link there.* Saw a phone with sliding keypad, suitable size with pretty high megapixel of 5 and HD video recording --- Sony Ericsson Vivaz Pro. What's good about it is that it's cheap! Less than 200 by upgrading my mobile plan. However, a little disappointed with the system. Slow and not that stable.

2010 also marks my first ever experience on a plane. This mountain tortoise finally got his chance to board a plane going further away from his comfort zone. Phuket, Thailand was his destination. Always with an impression that I'm not gonna adapt to the life away from my homeland, but I'm amazed I've survived pretty well and the food tasted great. Was a short but refreshing trip.

One of the world biggest event in 2010 has to be the World Cup South Africa. With people 'Waka Waka' around and blowing the irritating Vuvuzela, Spain emerged victorious. Followed the matches at MacDonalds', pubs, and Phuket. Then came the Youth Olympics which I totally have no involvement. It's a shame, but too bad I'm still attached to my work.

End August we're back to school again, later than usual due to YOG. Back to fighting for that pathetic GPA~ School is always boring to me as I'm really saturated from all these years... Not that I'm pleased with my pathetic amount of knowledge but it's just that, I can't seem to absorb more when I'm still trying my best to hang on whatever knowledge I have. Details are getting harder to store and lock in my memory.

Family wise, it's been rather complicated this year... Mum suffering from a little mental problem probably due to menopause. Dad having trouble paying his cab rental... I have no choice but to step out and do something in my final year of uni. With that, I have to give up my soccer sessions, or can only play awhile and rush back for work. My only enjoyment which I look forward to every week... It's saddening... It's depressing.

In 2010, I think I've found my Ms Right... I thought all these years my heart has turned cold, is dead already. But it's burning furiously this time... Day in day out, just can't get her off my mind. But I still know little of her, of her past, of her present... And I've no idea how to figure them out. All I want to say is, "You're definitely the highlight of my 2010... ..."

いつあなたの手に贈り物を送ることができますか？

要繼續加油！

2010-11-22T00:33:00.002+08:00

想說的話…

就在裏面。

暫時把一切抛開，為考試加油吧！

The Ordeal

2010-11-01T00:00:00.001+08:00

Long time no blog!

Of the past few weeks, this week has been the most active and happening. Clinched a part-time job within 1 week. This money-flowing out October finally pushed me to a state that I cannot stand watching and doing nothing anymore. Initially thought could survive with the remaining money but apparently, life's unpredictable eh?

Found this job and I got a response just within a couple of days. Arranged for interview and started working the next day! All happening within a week! Haha, it's pretty obvious they're looking for a part-timer urgently.

Well, this will be one of the bigger challenge in my life, not because of working and studying at the same time, but to overcome my laziness and slothfulness. I need to pick up the pace in my life again. I need to find back my life by jamming up my time. As time goes, it's irony that I might find myself having no life, busy juggling work and studies. However, I guess this might be a way for me to find back my soul --- By procrastinating lesser...

I seriously hope this could impact me in various aspects. Lightening my family's financial state. Bring out the hardworking me. Hopefully can earn enough for at least a grad trip...

I do have this feeling, that this might be a path set for me, at this time of my life, people around me changes, and the situation forced me to step out of my comfort zone and do something more. Hope I will change for the better... I can survive...

This will be a challenge I set for myself too. If others can do it, I believe I can do it too! Yes~ Believe in myself keeps me going!

Soccer Update:
How can I be giving up my passion!! With the new part-time job, I can only play at most 1 hour every Sunday~ It's only for a while... I hope. Though it's my passion, keeps me going most of the time, I'm still sensible to give it a miss, or play lesser, if I had to... Next 2 weeks, not possible to play as I'm gonna work full time on Saturday and Sunday...

私のハートビートを聞くことができますか？それはあなたのためにビートのしているだ…

7th Week Gone... Here comes Recess Week!

2010-10-18T01:06:00.000+08:00

Woh~ It seems like I'm beginning to blog every fortnight...

Recess week! It's actually a re-assess week~ Time to look through what I've actually learnt these past 7 weeks...

Hm... I don't know what to blog about anymore. I don't wanna keep updating on my current routinized and boring life. That's it. Bring in more happiness~ I need to be happy for who I am. I wanna try new things to spice up my life!

Soccer Update:
Well, I can say my form's getting back. But it's still quite slow... I can be better...
Been trying to be a post player but apparently the ineffectiveness has been pointed out by my teammates. Oh well, you can't be good at everything can't you? Will try and switch myself back to flanks and try to burst through instead. But like the pick up line from Nike, Speed is Nothing without Control... I need to master my control~

Goal(s) Scored: 1. (*Not good enough*)

あなたは今年のハイライトです…

Week 5: No Time, Seriously no TIME!!

2010-10-03T18:13:00.000+08:00

Opps~ Skipped a post for last week. Simply no time~ X(

Another wedding to attend. Sigh~ Whenever I attend someone's wedding, it's hard not to keep thinking, 'When is it my turn?' Haha. Then, look around, look at myself... I think it's hard, and it's still far... I think I'm just not ready. I don't want to give excuses that it's because of my financial status anymore. I believe if 'she' likes me, she'll accept my status. Maybe it's my personality...

A blink of an eye, it's Week 6! Please allow me to scream... WTF?!!!!
Damn damn damn damn! Seriously no mood to study at all. OMFG. Damn frustrated at myself. Where's my discipline? Dangerous man~ Please let me graduate safe and sound!! Ti gong bo bi bo bi~

Soccer Update:
Poor performance again. My ankle and knee hurt when I woke up today~ It's as though I'm dragging my feet to run today~ Argh~ Let me recover fast! I still wanna try competition~ Can't participate with this kind of crap performance every week. I still need to try out new things and improve myself~

Goal(s) Scored: 0. (*Very bad*)

ひとりたびに、だれかを思う。。。

Week 4! No time to slack!

2010-09-19T23:18:00.000+08:00

I always think that only enjoyable time flies faster. But this stressful and boring studying routine also seems to speed up already. It's coming to Week 4!! OMG~ O.o Ask about what I've learnt, I simply just go through the lessons, never really go further revise my subjects... Some of them I'm still unsure of what's going on... Terrible. What makes it worst is that this semester's recorded videos' quality is horrible. They use this semi-auto recording camera, anyhow zooms when it detects some loud sounds from a direction. And the volume is simply unhearable! Too soft~! OMG. Cui.

Just a sudden quiz on a certain day made me realised, that subject is not gonna be easy at all. My other 2 subjects also getting into the tedious calculation modules... Plus FYP needs to do presentation every Friday, read articles and summarize them... Argh~ So many things to do, but like so little time... *Shake head*

Soccer Update:
This week's performance was still not up to standard. On some occasion just kept misjudging the ball... What's wrong with me man~ Saturday swimming proved to be too exhausting for me or what... Sian. My energy is not supposed to be only that much! Today only 9 turned up in the end, plus 1 had a terrible ankle injury the night before. Thus, we didn't really played seriously. Oh well, at least another match fitness gained. I realised I can't play as a lone striker, finishing just simply sux. Think I'll focus more on passing and assisting from here on. Will finish only when there's clear chance.

Goal(s) Scored: 3. (*Weekly Target achieved*)
Well, as we didn't played really seriously, the goals weren't that impressive anyway.

安心感を欠いて...

I'm a Jack, never a Master.

2010-09-12T16:55:00.000+08:00

Jack of all trades, Master of none. Yup, that describes me pretty well. Not 'all' though, just 'many'. I like to try new stuffs, yet never try to even master any of them. I always get a feel of how it's like then I thought I knew it all but often I'm wrong. Is it that I never try to master, or I always just can't manage to master...? With an optimistic belief that nothing is unachievable, sometimes reality just gives me a hard knock and tells me, it's not true. Well I guess, if one has a limit to his energy, then that's how much of energy for him to distribute for his interests. If you try to distribute all energy evenly to all, then in the end, you'll realise just how little the energy level you have for each of your interest. You can never be a master that way... This is reality. That's how important priority is. Sometimes I wonder if I have any strong interest in my life...

It's getting tiring... I've been waking up early everyday and yet I'm not sleeping early at night. Need more rest. So fast, it's turning Week 3 already. Tutorials and Laboratories will fully commence and 24 hours will seem to be really short for me. Not much time to enjoy anymore... To improve my pathetic grades, I have to be consistent in my studies. Keeping up with tutorials and going extra to clear doubts when needed.
I can improve if I try...

Soccer Update:
Although today is a good weather, I had a bad, bad, and disgusting game. Very off-formed, no goal, and instead of blood, I got mud... Argh~ A dry weather yet I could get mud!! What's really disappointing was my performance. With a FICO on Friday and swimming on yesterday, I thought I could be fighting fit for the usual Sunday game. Much to my disappointment, it was not the case. Blew hell lotsa chances, no chemistry with the team, my mind was blank and my eyes were blind... My touches were terrible too! I had gone with vengence for the disappointing display for Friday's FICO and last night's Man United's injury-time slip-up. But instead of an 'on-fire' display, I had a hot and block-headed performance... Time and time again, I was pissed off easily. Of course, I hid it emotionally pretty well. I even got an own goal to my scoresheet~ How unlucky was that?! *Yucks!* Worst still, I got my boots in mud when I went to pick the ball which I kicked too far out. This marks one of my lousiest, disgusting performance ever... I suck. With this kind of performance, how to ever challenge in a competition?! It's one of my dream, and I know I'm still far from it. Gotta work harder. Walk with a ball at home from point to point! Terrible effort, I won't forget this humiliating day.

Goal(s) Scored: 0 *Very Disappointing*

その感じはまだそこにある。

Uni Year 4~ START~O~!

2010-09-05T20:25:00.001+08:00

A week has gone since I started my final year in university. The subjects are more or less finalized. Some look interesting but need plenty of mathematics... While some just plain boring, with no choice but to take. I also took another pretty fresh elective, an escape to my programming-intensive modules~ Directed readings of Modern Chinese Song Lyrics. And guess what? The class is conducted in Chinese! Cool~ But damn hard! XD

Me and my FYP professor could be enemies in our previous life... If there's any. First meeting I already gave him the impression that I either never attend lectures or never pay attention during lectures --- I couldn't recognize that he's one of my Year one lecturer... Second meeting, which was yesterday. Yes, meeting on a fateful Saturday~ We didn't know MRT line between Clementi and Jurong East stopped working for upgrading... And I was delayed... From a possible 15 mins early to 45 mins late. Don't have his number, no network to send an email for him. I've been AWOL for 45mins...

Impression totally ruined... (-____-) GG

But he seemed calm enough. I should have known, university's prof are mostly concerned about their journals more than their students... So who cares if one of his students was missing or vanished in thin air? As people grow older, they became more and more cold and realistic? If this is really the case... I can foresee a really, really cold future... Or maybe there's no future...

Ok, perhaps I've inferred too far...

とにかく、頑張りましょう～！

No soccer this week. Rain... How dare you...

多分、それは時間がまだない。

The True Acknowledgement

2010-08-29T23:59:00.000+08:00

Alright, finally my job at the company is done. The rest is up to them already. Good luck guys. You can do it.

In this very department, I see the importance of communication, trust, and relationships in a workplace. Without them, the situation will be chaotic.

My branch was especially chaotic. On my first day I had already received criticism about the manager already. It was understood that he was transferred to the department slightly later and the knowledge of the details about the branch was limited. The fact that he often neglected the feeling of his subordinates, always made his own assumptions that led to sufferings for his subordinates... These insensitivities, damaged the relationships and thus, trust reduction... There's a need to address this ASAP or else that branch may split to an incurable stage... Good luck guys. The manager, I thank you for your final day OT, the little pat and massage on my shoulders. You're charismatic but not sensitive enough. Fight for your people!

My mentor, I thank you for all the patience you had for me. Never rush me, never scold me. You never put on any air, very friendly and knowledgeable. But all man have a limit to their memories, don't push yourself too hard, superman is a fantasy. You're one which I would say, one of the most communicative of them all. But I have to apologise, your jokes often did not punch into me. I'd prefer more constructive information than too much unnecessary details. I do agree talking to oneself is effective at times, but it looked a bit scary and annoying when you're just a hand away from me. Knew that you also has some family issues... Hope everything gonna be fine. All the best.

My fellow branch colleagues, try as much to help my mentor alright? He seems stress enough. With work and family pressure, I'm afraid he might not be able to take it sooner or later. Lend him whatever support you can give. Share some of his loads... He might be holding too much himself... It would be wise to distribute the load around... I actually got to know more about you guys on the last day, it's a shame though. A bunch of nice lads. Thanks for all the wise words and ideas for my future. All the best to you guys too.

Some other branches/departments colleagues, thank you for all the help and kind offer to eat lunch together when I've no one else to eat with. Your helps were the most welcomed and effective, and they seriously gave me instant solutions and gave me fresh hope when I was about to give up. Thank you.

Alright, shall end it here. Thank you very much once again~ No matter what you do or where you are in the future, I wish you guys all the best! =)

Soccer Update:
With an injured left ankle, I've to excuse myself not to perform up to my best standard. I could have played better. I believed. But nonetheless, with a distraction of left ankle, I managed to get onto the scoresheet. Some key runs and decent passes. Not too bad.

Goal(s) Scored: >2. (*Weekly Target achieved*)

最後の私が退くことを選択します。希望はあなたの幸せを見つけるでしょう。

Last Week of 'Holiday'...

2010-08-23T00:40:00.001+08:00

Left final week and I'll be jobless again. Back to school life... Money just can't grow fast enough... Terrible. After school starts, I'll have to save, save and save again... Sigh... Just my life. Please let me hurry graduate and start earning money already. I can't bear to see my pathetic bank account keep staying at a pathetic amount...

People keep saying, "Enjoy your school life while you can...". But I think the school life had dragged far too long for me. This 'holiday' has only the one week break, inclusive of Phuket trip for me. Good fresh experience, but still too short...

Soccer Update:
Finally a sunny Sunday! The sky let down a few huge droplets though. But thankfully it stopped just after awhile. Another good game for me~ Needed slightly more time in getting into the game though. Early in the game I was stepped on my ankle by one of the opponents in a tackle and my left ankle has been feeling pain ever since then. Trying to end my passion?! No way!

Goal(s) Scored: >2 (*Weekly Target achieved*)

黒い穴を出てください!

Diver to Swimmer Conversion Course In Progress

2010-08-16T01:05:00.000+08:00

This whole week has been swimming, swimming, swimming and swimming! Haha. Last Saturday, then on Monday, Wednesday and Saturday again! Freaking ex! 3 times at Anchorvale Swimming Complex and all 2 bucks each! Ouch, pocket burnt. But I felt I can swim better and better! A bit strenuous on my knee with past injury... Can feel that it's slightly aggravated. Sigh, this knee just won't recover fully... Even though I could still play soccer, run about, the pain just keeps lingering. Anyway, I wanna improve my swimming! It's cool to feel that I can actually swim. XD More laps, more laps! Haha, then free-style! Then butterfly-style! Ok, a bit ambitious there. Let's see if I've time to achieve it when school starts...

Soccer Update:
It was dry, then it drizzled lightly, stopped, and drizzled again. When was our last soccer session? Seems pretty far... And finally I could lay my feet on the ball again! It was fun! Because I felt my form was good! Some good shots, 1 spectacular goal, a few good crosses and some dribbling~ Love this feeling~ ♥

Goal(s) Scored: >2 (*Weekly Target Achieved*)

私はまだ待っている...

Happy 45th Birthday Singapore~

2010-08-08T23:59:00.000+08:00

Happy National Day! Finally a longer weekend~ But so fast, we're left with 1 day~

So fast, it's 45th since Singapore's independence... Thank you, for providing a safe place for me to grow... Please continue to do so. People were and are still flocking over to settle down from all over the world, but we need to control, as we have built a nation and people of our own identity.

Soccer Update:
Well, no soccer again. Today was such a great weather!! X( The bad thing about National Day is they always set up tentages on basketball courts, and worse still, eat into the soccer courts as well~ Well done la.

暢気になりたいと思います。

ICT 2010 Over! Back to Work!

2010-08-02T00:56:00.000+08:00

Tried blogging on my phone and it actually didn't properly saved my draft... Freaking unreliable... Well, here we go again. Let me recall what I blogged about just now...

Well, this ICT was finally over. Pretty easy to be frank. And 600 bucks earned. How shiok was that? IPPT, combat shoot, and my rank pay. Pretty cool. I don't mind going through it more often. But well, it's unforeseeable that it's gonna happen in the few years to come. Gonna have 3 years of high-key to expect. It's alot more tougher, physically and mentally... Have to be prepared.

Back to work again tomorrow. Freaking lousy place. Just wanna leave that place...

Oh well, lazy to recall whatever I'd in mind just now. Forget it. Ends here.

Soccer Update:
Rainy Sunday, sux.

たぶん愛すのは、放すことです...

Have you ever Wonder, why must we Serve?

2010-07-25T18:10:00.000+08:00

Recently I felt a little tired of watching those intellectual shows. Just so freaking tired of thinking now. Other then Inception which I had watched, I've no interest in watching any other intellectual type of shows for the moment. Glee was a pretty light-hearted US drama series. It should be similar to High School Musical type of show. Funny and full of music and songs~ Pretty cool. It's interesting to watch how the teacher-in-charge and members of Glee club fight to make their club survives and shines. Shall follow the other episodes if I got the time.

6 days of ICT starting tomorrow. After getting used to my new phone, seriously I don't feel like changing back my old one. I could listen to the radio and music, take photos, watch videos, surf web and play games... Wah~ 6 days without it is... Sad. But anyway, it's good to stay away from radiation once in a while. But I think I'll still need to use my mobile during ICT. Sigh~
Hope I can complete this training safe and sound. I should be back on the 30th or 31st. So reluctant to let anyone see my ugly short hair right now, but oh well, just another image...

Gotta stop my FB games, gotta stop my plurks for a week. Hm... Maybe I could sms to my plurk/twitter but I won't be able to response. Sian.

Soccer Update:
Today is a sunny Sunday!! After weeks of rainy days, it finally shone brightly on this Sunday morning. Finally got a chance to run freely on a dry hard ground. Well, although today's dry, it didn't mean that I'd be at my best form. True indeed, today's performance could only be summed up as average. Probably failing to put the ball into the goal in many occasions simply made me felt that today's performance wasn't good enough.

Goal(s) Scored: 1. (*Not good enough*)

あなたの過去に入ることができませんが、あなたの未来を共有したいと思います。
米修米修 25 wafers, 25 wafers...

Don't Worry. Be Happy.

2010-07-19T01:22:00.001+08:00

Nothing really interesting to post about.

INCEPTION is really a good movie. Dream within dream, level below level. Freaking deep. They just adopted the "confuse-you-confuse-you" method, then gradually unveiled the stories behind. Gave the audience the 'woo~ I see...' followed by a 'wah' feeling. Like the concepts within, very fresh idea of manipulating dreams... Accompanied with some of the visual effects~ Usually I only saw them like on paper those eye illusion effects, and they made it such that it looked so real! Pretty cool. Worth the 2 hour plus of entertainment.

Recently been playing and playing with applications in FB. Farmville, Frontierville, EA Sports FIFA Superstars... Wonder how long would I keep this up...? Think I'm starting to get bored already. Need to find some other entertainments. Fullmetal Alchemists ended means 1 anime down. 星光傳奇賽 also not so nice. And worst, now is the no soccer matches period, they're having friendlies and not many are widely broadcasted~ Damn damn sian.

Don't like the current work progress. It's as always.... slow. And I dread the fact that it's not within my control. I need a longer break! Argh~

Recently Mum's been very bothered by menopause... Entering depression... What can I do? Tell me... Mum? Don't give in... Please don't. Let's walk through this together. We'll bring you out... I promise. Don't do anything silly for now. Bear with me...

Just like to rant in this virtual space. Feel slightly better after throwing some thoughts of mine here. =)

Soccer Update:
Today's session was difficult. Light drizzle marred our game. The constant restrain of force to maintain balance prevented our freedom of runs. That was damaging to our feet. I could feel strains at different parts of my legs after some time. That would also bring about the reason for my poor performance. To be frank, it's not my worst still. But plenty of glaring mis-passes, mis-shots simply pulled my morale down. Despite that I didn't give up and eventually added some decent goals and assists to my overall performance. Fair play I guess.

Goal(s) Scored: >2. *Weekly Target Achieved*

私を待ってください。

Working is Boring

2010-07-12T01:50:00.000+08:00

Started work again. Same employer, different office, same scope, same bloody slow pace, different lunch hangout group... I missed my other interns~~ First week still ok with another intern which extended as well. And for the next 2 weeks I'll be either eating lunch alone or join the other perm engineers... Sad. After that, I'll be going for my ICT for a week. Then back to work all the way until 27th August, 3 days before school opening... Sian. Better let me finish this project asap. So that I can take a longer break before taking on my final year.

So 2010 FIFA World Cup is finally coming to an end. With 2 new teams which have never won any World Cup before, Spain and Netherlands, who will add their names into the hall of fame of World Cup Champions? None of them are my supporting teams, so whoever wins I also don't care. Haha. I'll be staying up to watch it LIVE~ Better show some fighting effort and spice up the game! Go for it~ I wanna see a more attractive football!!

Soccer Update:
No soccer again!! Where's the soccer fever, dudes? Damn. Yeah, too bad, miss another weekend without proper match practice...

あなたなしで同じではありません。

Birthday Week, Phuket Trip, Welcome 25!

2010-07-04T22:46:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to me!! Yup yup~ It's my Birthday Week!! \(^o^)/

Hm... Spent whole day at home on my birthday after just came back from Phuket. It was pretty fun there~ Except for the annoying rain and mosquitoes there after... Have a little brief recap of what I've gone through there...

26th June 2010
Woke up around 0500 and moved out at 0545. Boarded bus 27 and reached Terminal 1 pretty on time as planned, 0645. Checked in and rushed to Terminal 2 for Mac breakfast. And when we rushed back, we saw the "Gate Closing" on the screen. Hurried to the gate with a stomach full of Sausage McMuffin with Egg~ Spent sometime on the air-con-less plane, thought it was normal though, since it was my first time on flight. It even went onto the runway but returned after realizing the plane air-con wasn't working --- it was blowing warm air... Later they decided to dispatch us back to the waiting area while they could try and fix the air-con. Just like that, our flight was delayed till 1330, then 1430, and finally 1555 was the last call and they found a new plane for us instead...

How did it feels to fly on an aeroplane? Hm... Ok lo~ It wasn't as thrilling as some ride from theme parks, but the views from the side windows were cool~ It went all the way up and burst through the clouds~ And then, all of a sudden below us, was the fluffy fluffy white clouds. It would be nice if I could stand on them~ Upon reaching the top, our ears also started to block by the pressure... By swallowing saliva would clear them for a while before they started getting blocked again.

After about 2 hours of flight, we finally landed on Phuket International Airport! It's quite obvious that Phuket is more poorer developed than Singapore just by looking at its airport. Much to my disappointment, thought with my new Vivaz pro, I could stay connected and update my family and friends wherever I go, but... to find free wi-fi network there seemed to be a hard task. From the airport, as there's car rental service, and it's calculated that it's more worth to rent a car than 2 bikes, thus, rented a car. The traffics there were complicated, and pretty dangerous. Plenty of slopes and meandering road. A little mis-concentration might just drive off the cliff... Luckily we didn't. If the roads could one day closed for F1 races, it would certainly be exciting. The roads' paint to separate the 2 directions were also faded off... Especially on those tricky meandering slopes... Freaking thrilling.

Our hotel, Patong Green Mountain Hotel was difficult to access. We went past a shortcut and went into a steep sloping path all the way up, then making a turn down and we finally found our hotel. Kind of eerie as it seemed like no other people staying there except us. And when we told the car rental keeper, the car owner and one tour agent, their first reaction was, "Huh, Patong Green Mountain?" Like they didn't know it exists... The hotel was also not marked on the map. Seemed like we made a bad choice eh? Nevertheless, if you're looking for a quiet environment away from the buzzing beach, Patong Green Mountain wasn't a bad choice. Their breakfasts were fulfilling. Ate their American Breakfast for 3 mornings~ It's like 3 sets of breakfast. Toasted bread, cereal and the scrambled egg with sausages/ham and bacon... Yummy.

After settling our stuffs in our rooms, we set off searching for dinner at Patong Beach. From the map it looked near, about 1 km away, but it's more like 2 km when we actually walked over. Finally decided to eat at a pub, forgot what's the pub name but they're really nice. Arranged the table specially for us to be directly in front of the projector screen to watch the soccer match! Tried their Grilled Chicken Fillet, the green pepper sauce was nice~ Had Banana Split but no more banana, so Mango Split for beverage. While eating a little girl popped out and hooked a floral necklace (don't know if there's any special name for it) around my neck, gave me a kiss on my cheek... and demanded 100 Thai Baht. Bargained and lost 60 baht just like that. Must watch out for these 'robbers' next time. Watched South Korean trailing by a goal to Uruguay, and as most of us not as interested in that match, we decided to make a move on the half-time break. On our way back, I noticed you can see FamilyMarts almost everywhere. It's like their Econ minimart. The first common shop I saw there would be the 7-Eleven. Went into a tour agency, booked a tour to Coral Island the next day for snorkeling and para-sailing, that's 1500 baht. Reached back hotel, and we ended our first day just like that. Thanks to the much much delayed flight...

27th June 2010
It rained in the early morning, but luckily it stopped while we set out for our trip to Coral Island. A special van fetched us from our hotel to Nikorn Marine and we took a speed boat there!
Tried snorkelling. The fins were so difficult to use! Hard to walk and hard to swim as well! My ankles hurt so much while wearing it. It felt so weird to breathe through the tube too. But after a while I did get used to it. Then we rented a kayak and we swam further out. To be frank there weren't much to see except for some small fishes. We actually wandered off the boundary and saw jellyfish! It was pinkish, purple and I only dared to look at it from the surface. Pretty big size too. I almost swam onto one of them. Wonder what will happen if I kena stung by it. We also tried para-sailing! I felt like a kite! Though it was rather short, about 1 min only, but it was so cool! Stayed until 1445 before we set off back to phuket and our hotel. Freaking exhausted and slightly burnt~

Tried to go somewhere to shop but most shops were closed on Sunday. For the remaining shops that were opened, nothing fascinated me to spend. We parked our car near the disappointing Phuket Shopping Center, and we went on feet to explore around the place. Ocean shopping area was much more decent.
Dinner was at The Pizza Company. Ate fried chicken with curry sauce. The curry sauce is made from Thai's special recipe and together with the chicken, it tasted pretty good. After that, we went to a pub for watching Germany vs England and didn't expect they closed at 2200 Thailand time. Came back hotel, and realised Germany hammered England 4 - 1.

28th June 2010
Day 3. It continued raining and today seemed like it's not stopping! Went shooting range and I tried a .22mm handgun with 10 bullets. It's the cheapest and I've always wanted to try using a handgun, finally got a chance. Slightly difficult to aim, it's quite disappointing that the people did not actually teach us the proper posture to shoot. 10 rounds, my shots went pretty wide.
Went Tesco Lotus, it's like their shopping mall. Had lunch at Santa fé Steak. Tried medium rare Ribeye steak~ Well, it was more cooked than it should be, had a hard time slicing and chewing it.
Went to Central Festival, tried my 'virgin' massage~ It was a painful experience. Kept myself awake throughout and some of the massaging techniques were torturous. Guess the lady could sense that I'm nervous, kept asking me if I'm ok. XD Bought a pair of shorts there for 17 SGD. Decent price.

29th June 2010, Final Day
Last day. It continued raining. Ate breakfast and prepared to check out. Went to go-kart but feeling too expensive and the other tourists didn't seemed to be having fun, we decided to give it up.
Passed by Shell museum, went in and explored, mostly are products made from seashells... Not really nice for my liking. Not really interesting there, we didn't spent 200 baht to go down further for the exhibition.
Long trip to Promthep Cape. Had a little hiking there. It's slightly dangerous but to get the view, it's worth it. I simply love the feeling when sea breeze just kept blowing at my face~ Standing on the rocks with only view of blue sea, green mountains, my mind at that time, felt peaceful...
Dinner back at Patong Beach. It's more of a better shopping area. Too bad we're rushing for time. Delicious Phad Thai for dinner and set off for airport.

Well, overall the things there weren't as cheap as it seemed. Cheaper by a few dollars perhaps. Something about the petrol there, our car, driven for days, and withstanding the tough slopes, the gauge never dropped. It remained full~ Being worried, we actually pumped in some, and realised it's supposed to drop but it actually still remained about half a tank or more. Not bad... Think the car's fuel efficiency is very good.

Reached back Singapore at around 1am. Shared cab home. That's the end of my short, short trip.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Soccer Update:
Our soccer session finally resumed despite the recent poor weather... It rained as usual, but it stopped for us!! You heard me! Thank you~ Enjoyed the long due session~ Ran as much as I could like a crazy dog~ But I want more!! Gotta wait another week again~ Argh~~

Goal(s) Scored: >3. * Weekly Target Achieved*
Today's finishing was pleasing... When you gain something, you lose something in return... How true. With good shooting technique today, my crossing technique dropped. Sigh~ I will keep on improving until I hang my boots...

私が変えていません。あなたは？

Special Post: 飞机初体验！

2010-06-30T13:25:00.000+08:00

没想到第一次乘搭飞机，它就给我问题。班机延误了七个多小时！兴致勃勃的搭客们都等到不耐烦了！等到花儿谢，谢了再种，种了再长，长了再谢，终于~ 可以起飞了！充满兴奋得我，终于能够体会飞机起飞的滋味~ 那种飞到上空，飞越云端，一望无际的景色~ 太美了！耳朵一直有种阻塞的感觉，必须不停吞口水才能打通，是一种新的体验。一个多钟头的飞行还不错，不过要搭上好几个小时就有点无聊了。

这次的旅游，真是不错。不过时间有点紧，又遇到下雨天… 到不同景点又要花上一段路程的时间。这次的旅游，有玩，有吃，没什么时间逛，也就这样匆匆忙忙的结束了~

好，接下来得省多一点钱，我们去更远的地方！

Special Post: 乘搭飞机前的我…

2010-06-25T23:38:00.001+08:00

再多几小时，本人就要乘搭人生第一趟班机，第二次踏出新加坡本土~ 又要离开家了，心里有点不舍。但长大了，是该出去看看外头的世界…

这次要去的目的地是泰国普吉岛。虽然泰国的治安目前还处于不稳定，但普吉岛应该还算安全。这次的远门收到了不少祝福。姐姐准备了必备的药盒，ok la, 虽然不是刻意准备给我的，自少对我会有帮助。我的外婆还包了个红包给我，真是不好意思。在这，我要感谢所有关心我的人，就算是小小的一句问候，那也感觉温馨~

乘搭飞机前的我是如此兴奋~ 虽然整理包包是件麻烦事。就要踏入四分之一世纪的我，终于有机会搭飞机了！哈哈，真是山龟(Suaku)!

好了，看来今晚应该是会兴奋到无法入睡。XD

P.S. 好啦~ 才4D3N 而已，说到好像要出国深造。这个白痴！XD

Phuket, are you ready for me?!

2010-06-20T23:18:00.000+08:00

Excited, excited, EXCITED!! This is going to be my first time taking a plane~ Going Phuket, Thailand from 26th - 29th June!
Hm... Considering the situation of Thailand, this trip will be mixed with excitement but worries as well. Hope it'll be enjoyable and smooth. Anyway, it's expected that I won't be trying out much of their activities as my financial plight doesn't allow me to do so. Therefore, it'll just be an eye-opening experience for me to get on a plane, land on a foreign land, and survive for 4 days 3 nights. Next time, I shall gather more money before I decide to go on a holiday trip again. I shall enjoy all I can~ Worry later~ Wahaha XD

Soccer Update:
This week, unfortunately not enough players and we had to stop for a week. And next week I'm going Phuket, so the strength will also be a doubt... Oh well,... Scratch my feet to ease the itch then.

あなたは私を覚えるでしょうか?

World Cup South Africa 2010!

2010-06-14T00:04:00.000+08:00

Guess what? World Cup has finally started last Friday! Waited for 4 years... Could still remember the last World Cup I was still in army, and we set up a giant screen to watch the final match together. Witnessed the Zidane's famous headbutt and Italy's victory. Cool. 4 years past just like that~

6 months of IA left 2 days before it ends... Might be back there working in July again... Don't really like people to expect too much on me, it adds on pressure sometimes. Oh well, we'll see then. Hope to find a higher paying temp job asap.

Soccer Update:
This week, I played 2 games on both weekends. Saturday's match was more intensive and physically demanding. Today's match was more relax due to more spaces and playing among our own friends, so it's more friendly. Both days the weather were hot~ I got burnt until red again. Hope don't peel too much skin in a few days' time.

Goal(s) scored: 1 goal on each day. *Need to work harder*

ごめんな。あなたが欲しいものが持ってません。

Last 7 days for IA

2010-06-06T17:45:00.000+08:00

Very soon, my Industrial Attachment will end. Had plenty of memories with these lads~ Grateful for such wonderful companionship. Lots of fun, tried some interesting stuffs, did lotsa things I haven't tried or have been yearning to try before~ Roller blading, flying kites, eating Xiao Long Bao at Holland V, even went gym weekly when I'm always the one telling my friends gym is useless and a waste of money. XD Well, nonetheless, it helped me maintaining my silver record for these past 3 years after ORD. Been struggling to even get silver but this time round, I had this feeling that I'm pretty close to getting gold again. Need to try to maintain and take IPPT again in my coming ICT for my next window~ Cat Y after birthday! 老了... 囧

World Cup is starting this coming Friday!! First match gonna be telecasted on Ch 5!! And it's 10pm! Can watch! Hm... No particular favourite national team, think I'll be rooting for South Korea! Go Park Ji-Sung!!

Soccer Update:
It drizzled before I even stepped out of my house! However, it stopped minutes later. Today I saw my recent weeks of physical training paying off. Could use my wits while dribbling the ball, shagged but still could think! Couple of good assists, couple of goals. It's unfortunate that it rained while we started playing for a while. Good thing was it's just a drizzle. The ground soon became slippery and all of us gotta be careful. Nonetheless, the rain did not affect my desire to train and give in my best~ I will be better and better...

Goal(s) Scored: >2. *Weekly target achieved*
Today's long range shots were mostly off, though I only had 3 attempts of that situation.

自分がしたことを後悔するつもりではありません。それでも、あなたのためにそこにいるでしょう。

Final Lap for Project

2010-05-30T23:59:00.000+08:00

The presentation is creeping near... Never prepare much yet~ Mentor have been treating me real good. What should I buy for him for the farewell gift? Project not yet complete, have to try my best for this final week before next Wednesday's presentation.

Booked IPPT! This coming Saturday! Am I ready...? I'm not sure... Condition just goes up and down. Unpredictable. Thursday will decide whether to carry on with the test, or postpone it further.

Went for a JC friend's wedding. She's the second of that class to be married. First time attending a Malay wedding. It's at a community club, more spacious than void deck. With air-con too~ Tried a little of the food, mutton and bee hoon? Not bad... Though I'm not a fan of mutton~ It started at about 11am till 5pm, but 12pm the bride and groom went up the stage for photo taking all the way until nearly 3pm. After that they came down, cut the cake, and sat down to eat. At about slightly over 3pm, they set off to the groom's area. Not sure of the details there after as we ended our visit after they left. Interesting experience~

Soccer Update:
This week joined another friend's team and played on Saturday. Played in a smaller court but a bigger ball... Dominating at first, but performance dropped later on. Overall, it was a disappointing session for me. Got chance I'll go back again. But I still prefer my usual Woodlands' court.

Goal(s) Scored: 2 or more.

あなたがいなくなれば寂しくなります。

Final Weeks Countdown

2010-05-23T16:15:00.000+08:00

Tutor visit over! Shiok or not?! Nope, not at all. Haven't finished my report, realized I had to add in more things. Project assigned also uncompleted, and my boss' boss actually wants me to give a presentation. Stress me up~ And I had to present to my boss first before showing to my department. What does he know? See for what? Waste my time. Need to finish up my report fast. And I'm left with only 2 weeks to my presentation... Need to at least make something presentable... Seriously wasting my time.

Phuket trip is more or less confirmed. Gonna book in 1 or 2 days time. Finally, I can take a plane. Wonder if I would become air-sick. Hope I can really enjoy myself there~ Bungee jump costs about 100 bucks, that's a lot man~ Think the tickets and hotel would be around 250SGD. If 100 for Bungee, then I have only 150 left to do other stuffs including my meals and transport?! My initial budget of 500 might be well exceeded~! Man~ Oh well, must really find a part-time when I got back.

Soccer Update:
This week we skipped our soccer match just for the sake of watching Champion's League!! Oh well, for the well-being of everyone... Inter Milan won as expected, but the way they played almost bored me to sleep. Bayern Munchen only had Arjen Robben who just kept trying but one man doesn't make a team... Too bad. Inter Milan showed more of teamwork. Not to mention, they actually have a pool of talents as well. Wesley Sneijder was superb, a couple of dangerous freekicks and the assists he gave Diego Milito to score. A treble season for them, so amazing... Imagine Man United did that in 1999... Wonder when can Man United achieve that again...?

あなたが失ったものをあなたへ与えさせてください。

Eyes Twitching Week

2010-05-17T22:45:00.000+08:00

Opps, a delayed post~

Guess who's the culprit? Report la~! XD

Have to blame myself for not starting earlier though. Anyway, today the 'gan jiong' tutor came. I'm the first out of my interns to get the final visit by our tutors. Worst still he came before I returned from my lunch! Stated 3pm but reached at 2.15pm. Stunt man~ Made me jog back the moment I alighted the bus... -_-||| The visit went quite smoothly I thought. A few tough questions by him which I don't really care and got to thank my mentor for putting some good words for me. But overall, think I'm not gonna get good grade with my logbook looking scrappy and a handful of problems at hand. Oh ya~ Gotta prepare a presentation too~ Damn. X(

Eyes twitching for one whole week. Must be lacking of sleep... In the past I could go 2 days straight without sleep. Now, cannot even last until 3 in the morning and soon my eyes will tremble in objection. Gotta prepare for World Cup soon~ Get ready for long nights...

Soccer Update:
This week's session was longer than last week~! Weather not as scorching bad as previous week. Quite a handful of key passes completed, felt great. On one occasion while trying to block a shot from the opponent, I thought my yet-recovered right ankle was finally gone but I managed to run it off after a while. The rate of healing has to be faster every week! Cramps came slightly earlier than usual. Not enough warm up I guess? Might have to stop for a week for my IPPT... Sad.

Goal(s) Scored: >2. (Weekly target achieved)

何も恐れるものがありません。

Rush for Final Report!!

2010-05-09T19:43:00.000+08:00

In another week's time, my tutor is gonna come back to visit me at my workplace for the second and last time for this IA. Plenty of things to be shown, while those things are currently either just on the initial state, or they're in a mess. Soon, IA will end... Soon, it might end just like that...

Hm... Come to think of it, I have managed to curb my urge to drink coffee for 3 weeks already. Some sort of an achievement eh? Haha. Good, feel proud of myself. But I seriously not intending to totally not drink coffee for good... Just wanna snap out of the addiction once in a while.

While I got my first debit card in my life, some of my friends were already talking about owning properties and cars... I felt so noob at times. Maybe still quite far for me, so just don't feel like talking about it. 自己努力吧，还能怎样？

Took a test, got an idealist personality. Pretty accurate, I'm so hard to be satisfied... Always looking for perfection yet, perfection doesn't exists in real life. Ideal doesn't exists, it's merely some kind of high standard or quality that people set to work towards.

Soccer Update:
Today's soccer was simply, hot. The heat wave was so energy-draining that we took quite a few breaks and already thinking of going at around 1130. The midweek gym session really does help in building my stamina. Felt today wasn't that bad, a handful of misplaced crosses at the start, then slowly, perhaps, the others tired out faster, thus I've more chances to dash through.

Goal(s) Scored: >=3. *Weekly target achieved*

Tonight will be the last match of EPL, after that we'll have a couple of weeks of emptiness and lost before we stay up late catching the World Cup. Manchester United is just 1 pt behind Chelsea, and if they win and Chelsea flops, we'll have another historical breaking record of 4 consecutive EPL title~ But no matter how Chelsea perform, Man United just have to do their part and ensure victory! The rest shall live to fate~

あなたを失ったのを夢見ました。

What is Hindering Me...?

2010-05-02T23:17:00.000+08:00

Until right now in my life, sometimes I'd feel, what have I achieved so far? Even the basic 5Cs that people are looking for, I've got none. In this cruel materialistic world, what do I've got that is appealing enough to pursuit someone...? I think I'm well spoilt that my mentality is so weak even I feel disgusted myself. Time may have come for me to step out and contribute when school starts... Hopefully I will be able to take that step out... I have to understand, for a brighter future, it's inevitable.

Soccer Update:
After 2 weeks of break, the soccer session resumed~! It was hot but certainly better than wet. Perhaps after a few session of cardio-training, my stamina significantly improved. After the session I felt I could play more. Today's passing and shooting were mostly accurate, though not many key passes or shots. Oh man~ Gotta wait another week?! I can't wait to play again!

Goal(s) Scored: 2. *Satisfactory*
With plenty of chances and shots but only converted 2. Need to be more clinical in my finishing.

何も無くでも、あなたの手を握らすことができか。

Never take Life Lightly... Please.

2010-04-26T01:03:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I feel that if we can learn to take things lightly, then the degree of being hurt would be lesser. Sometimes, I feel that if we can learn to accept, then maybe we won't enter the state of depression... Life bound to have ups and downs, with plenty of obstacles along the way. We must really learn to find ways to relieve our stress so as to overcome the unsatisfactory we felt every now and then. We can tell ourselves not to take things too seriously but NEVER tell ourselves to take LIFE lightly. Depression is such a deep dark hole that makes a person falls so deep, feels so down, and becomes so blind... I will make sure that I never step into it, and I also hope that I can rescue anyone who has unconsciously trapped inside it... To whoever is in a depression right now~ Don't fret and snap out of it! You must win the war against the inner devil!!

Went to renew my passport and I actually queued 3 wrong queues, took 4 useless and ugly passport-sized photos and finally realized I only need to extend my passport for free~ It's still valid and all I needed was filling in a form and getting a chop on my passport. (=_=;) Anyway, I'm free to go overseas for now~ Great! Hope to gather more people and book the tickets ASAP!

Soccer Update: *Postponed*
Well, no soccer for me this week. Some went for short trips while some preparing for coming exams... Sad. such a great weather... wasted. Fine~ Next week!

感じが今週帰りました。

A Scare In the Family.

2010-04-18T23:00:00.000+08:00

A huge volcano eruption occurred in Iceland~ Ashes filled the air and is still disrupting air traffic. Hope it won't affect our holiday plan. Just feel like taking a break out of here for a while. Just need some new experiences to spice up my dull life. I've always thought volcano is like a common thing in other countries, but it seems like this time it's rather serious. Hope it'll be cleared soon.

Mum went hospital after her Urticaria-like illness failed to recover after a few days. It started with flu, cough, fever then that weird illness. Her whole body covered with big red patches, not common type of rashes. Looks scary... After staying for 3 days, she's finally discharged~ We still don't know what exactly caused it, but all we want is for her to be healthy again. It's not fully recovered yet, but can see it's fading off slightly... Get well soon Mum!

Soccer Update:
Every week so eager to play, yet today I played terribly. Disappointed. What a tiring day. This week I didn't have many exercises, so there's no excuses. I wanna improve every week!

Goal(s) Scored: 1. (Not good enough)

Last night, reached home just in time to watch Man United's last minute winner. Then, managed to catch 2nd half of Tottenham vs Chelsea match, in the end, Chelsea lost. Great. Wahaha~ Now Chelsea only leading by a point, hope they slip further. Man United shall win all the way~!

決して戦わずにあきらめないでください。

Frustration Sets In...

2010-04-11T23:09:00.000+08:00

This week was a workout week~ Tuesday badminton, Saturday and Sunday soccer. Well, don't really like playing badminton due to the fact that the enclosed indoor court, plus no fans is so warm... And I also hate to wear spectacles to play sports but for badminton if I don't wear, I'll hit birds... Anyway, still couldn't get the technique right, couldn't smack the shuttlecock down. It's also very strenuous on my right arm... Cramped for a few days...

Saturday's soccer was pretty pleasing. We managed to grab some vital wins against the 'zai' teams... We're the underdogs... I actually slightly sprained my ankle while trying to block one of the shots. After lunch, I actually left my shoe bag behind at the KFC... Walked for a total of 1.2km with a funny ankle to and fro along the path from 888 plaza to Admiralty MRT. Luckily while clearing the tray one of the staff kept it for me... Can't imagine my recently bought 80 bucks boots to be gone so soon~ Phew~ The weather was funny, it looked as though it might rain while I was on my way, but it stayed dry throughout. I even got sunburnt. Finally got a haircut... Well, not exactly... Still long... And quite thick too. Waited quite long and meeting friends, so decided to just accept it. My neighbour and the hairdresser gave me a shock look and asked me whether I'd went swimming... Guess my chao ta face gave them a shock.

Today weather was totally sunny. Damn hot in fact. Hadn't even started playing, our energies had been half-drained already. Finally got our jersey~ Red and blue. Looks difficult to match a short with. Didn't have the best of games... Quite a few of us actually exposed under the hot sun until feeling feverish after reaching home. What a freak weather...

Think my stamina should improve by a little... Hope I won't be cramped until couldn't go work...

Soccer Update:
2 days of intensive training. To play 2 days straight is a little too physically demanding. After the Saturday game, many of us suffered from fatigue today and that affected our performance drastically. Well, probably due to the possibility that history might happen again --- Last week Sunday session cancelled due to rain, this week we decided to go for both days again. Anyway, good workout for this week, Tuesday badminton and soccer for both weekends.

Goal(s) Scored: 2 on 2 days. (Not good enough).

たぶん、私たちは類似過ぎですね。

Pleasant Times Always Flies Fast...

2010-04-04T22:28:00.000+08:00

Time flies while in IA... Thanks to my wonderful friends working there. I really can't imagine if I'm really the only intern there. Will I be bored to death...? Fortunately, I don't have to go through that to find out... I've been really working 'leisurely' in my own sweet pace. The superiors I'm having are very friendly and lenient to me, probably I'm the intern. I really have to thank them for not putting too much stress on me, and I really appreciate it. Now I'm feeling the pressure myself, this is my attachment, and in the end if there's not much significant result, I'll be very disappointed myself. Right now, there seems to be something, but still not there yet... Need more focus, need more commitment... Logbook left outdated, report yet started... Boy~ Wake up~ Do your work!

Alright, got my March allowance, think it's time to pay my school fees. After payment, I'll have to budget myself until the next allowance, which is roughly a month's time. Hope I can survive through... Been trying to put on weight and finally starting to see myself putting on weight but in order to save, I think I may end up shrinking back once again...

Soccer Update:
After missing last week's session, I planned to come back with 2 soccer sessions back to back on both Saturday and Sunday. However, or should I say that some of us were lucky to go for the Saturday session, as it rained non-stop throughout the morning on Sunday. No fate with my new jersey, gotta wait till next week to collect again.

Goal(s) Scored: 1. *Not good enough*
The only goal scored by me was a 'kio liu lian' strike after the opponent's keeper parried one of my teammates' shot.

A midweek upset at Bayern Munchen, followed by the same scoreline at home. Manchester United took a dip in form and suffered 2 straight defeats, 2 rather important matches. A must-win return leg at Old Trafford, they must ensure a win and not conceding any goals. Without the talisman Rooney, it's really worrying, with Valencia dip in form and Berbatov unconsistency... Man United! Pull yourselves together~!

あなたを懐かしいです。

A Hot and Crowded Qing Ming

2010-03-28T17:38:00.000+08:00

Once again, it's the annual visit to Bright Hill Temple (光明山寺院） as well as visiting my grandpa and grandma's grave. Today was hot~ And different from previous few years, this year the crowd was bigger. Had some traffic jams here and there. Grandpa's grave gonna be shifted. The land he's 'staying' is going to undergo some renovation or something, not too sure about that. Haven't gotten more details of where he'll be shifted to. This will be our last time to his current place. I will miss that place...

Left at about 12+pm. Latest so far for the past few years. Usually 11+am should reach home already. Used computer for a while before I couldn't resist the temptation of a bed behind me.

Last night, or should I say this morning, slept at around 0330 after watching Manchester United trashed Bolton 4 goals to nil at Reebok Stadium. Cool~ Nani performed well~ I wanna try Mercurial Superfly II~! Sigh~ Unless I'm 'skilled' enough to spoil my current boots, think I'll have to wait another 6 months to a year. Nevermind! I like my current yellow Mercurial -whatever- model too! Anyway, no Rooney still can win~ Awesome, Great Man United~ Keep it up! Next up~ Bayern Munich, Germany! Here we go!

Anyway, no soccer for me this week. Hopefully next week will be back for more actions! I shall go for a jog to maintain my fitness! 5.30pm shall be the move out timing.

Half of IA gone. And I haven't started my report. Need to write 2000 to 5000 words. Hate report. Hate appendix. Hate content page. Hate introduction. Hate conclusion. Opps... ok enough of hatred. Still have to suck my thumb do all this shit...

だれかを待って、私と同じですか?

Rushing for Time...

2010-03-21T19:05:00.000+08:00

This week marks the 9th/10th week of my IA. Finally, a visit from my school tutor. It went well I thought. Though the rain came at quite a wrong time, but everything still went on smoothly. Next visit will be on the 20th week. And at around 21st week, I had to hand in a report for this IA. Isn't my logbook already my report? Oh man~ Report, report...

In a blink of an eye, I'm left with about 2 months left for my project. Things weren't gathered completely, while there's much much more to improve... What's worst, I think just the time at work might not be enough... I may need to OT myself or brought everything back home but... I don't want!

Soccer Update:
This week the rain started pouring~ Especially the day before, it rained from late in the night all the way till the evening of yesterday. But the worry was uncalled-for, as today it still shone brightly for our usual soccer session. Even though the ground still remained puddle of rain water here and there, it never stopped the passion of all these 'young' lads. Today was enjoyable. Partly due to the fact that I was rather satisfied with my performance. Still, the goal count wasn't proportional to my overall performance. Guess I was not a natural finisher.

Goal(s) Scored: 3 that I could remember. *Weekly target achieved*
A long range effort, another assisted by an outstanding through ball, and lastly a one-two with a great timed tapped in.

より多くの時間をお願いします。私を置き去りにしないでください。

Back to Normal?

2010-03-14T18:22:00.000+08:00

It's already 9th or 10th week into my IA. NTU tutor coming on the Thurs. Logbook hasn't been updating since quite sometimes. Need to scribble more things into it.

Someone said in this country there isn't much you can do for your pastime.Well, certainly I agree, especially when you're someone poor. All you can do is probably do some sports, or surf internet... Boring isn't it? Why is money so important? Students are bound to be poor?! *Groan* Ok ok. Fine, I shall take it step by step.

Recently been trying to eat more than usual in order to increase my weight. People came out from army usually tends to gain weight, but I'm opposite. Think I lost quite a bit of muscles as well. Well, even I tried eating more, it seems futile. My weight just stuck at 51kg la~! Muscles shrinking or what? Pump me up!

Soccer Update:
Another hot day~ Another day at the away court. Luckily there weren't any challenger to share the court with. Thus, our group of 13/14 got to play more. My dribbling still cannot make it. But no effort how to even improve? Where's my ball at home?! Need to walk with it.

Goal(s) Scored: 3. *Weekly target achieved*
Should have scored more. Fitness building up. IPPT coming. Keep the passion going...

正常である、再び? それが欲しいと思いません。

I should have or I should not have...

2010-03-07T20:11:00.000+08:00

A self-destructive week. A self-exposure week. What have I done...

School has rushed me for the payment again. An email from Senior Assistant Director of Finance Office asking for immediate payment. Freak~! Can't they just wait!? Give me just 1 more month! I'm going to send an email, hope they can wait a while more.

At home just seriously couldn't do any work at all...

A horrendous week.

Soccer Update:
Another hot day. Venue changed to our away court so as to have more time to play among ourselves. In the end, challengers still came. 2 groups. Not as good as the ones at our home court, but still managed to put on a good fight. Got a bump on my left cheekbone, hope the bruise will not show.

Goal(s) Scored: 3. *Weekly target achieved.*
Although, the target for goals was reached, the performance was not up to standard. I lost my dribbling technique, as well as the confidence. Towards the end of the game, my passing were terrible. I think I'm seriously lack of fitness and stamina. Think I have to find one day every week for jogging so as to improve my stamina. Which day should it be...?

どうすればいいの。

Like me.

2010-03-01T23:02:00.001+08:00

Alright, after the hundreds of posts I've posted since, think I seldom, or never even post anything about love before. Firstly, I wanna declare I'm not gay! Just that sometimes it's better to keep these sensitive issues to myself. Since young I have always thought that love is something unexplainable. And I thought many times, that most love weren't true. They might just be peer pressure --- seeing other couples, then the enviousness might lead you to having the wrong crush...

Recently, someone special appears... When the first time I saw her, there's a kind of affinity... It's like I've saw her somewhere before... Well, it sounds very old-fashioned, but it just gives me some kind of deja vu feeling. There are more about her that simply attracts me. Sadly I'm still an 'evergreen' totally no experience. What should I do to win over her heart? What can I do to make her like me? Following all these thoughts, the devil appears and doubt me. Yes, I started to doubt about myself. Am I good enough? Can I give her the happiness, given my current dull and boring lifestyle...? Heard from somewhere, love should be selfish. Everyone is pursuing their Mr or Ms Right... Does mutual love still exists? All I know is I can't sit still and do nothing...

Soccer Update:
Alright~ After a couple weeks of rest, it's time to shake the new year goodies away~ Today is hot~~! Yes, scotching... Think I got burnt again, my sunblock wasn't enough. Was not too impress with my own performance today. Think I lost my good form since I changed my boots. *excuse* However, the game has just resumed, so expected some rustiness... Must get back my form asap!

Goal(s) Scored: 2. *Weekly target achieved.*
Played with some new challengers, had to use their bouncing ball. Nevertheless, still managed to score 2 from good assists by my teammates.

Alright, something to celebrate about~! Manchester United retained the Carling Cup!!! CHEERS!! An equaliser by Michael Owen, then a wonder cross by Antonio Valencia connected by an ultimate match-winning Wayne Rooney header!! Yeah! There are definitely more to come~! GO MAN UNITED!

勇敢に愛を言うことができますか？

Back to Work...

2010-02-21T21:45:00.000+08:00

Looks my new year celebration has ended just after 3 days. Alright, time to shift focus back to work. Have been slacking so far, and not much progress... Slightly disappointed at the tasks given to me, it wasn't what I'm expecting, and the scope has changed as to what I'm briefed on the first week of work.

Fallen sick, perhaps due to recent hazy night. The irritating flu has subsided, but not fully. My ear is still blocked and it's making me dizzy once in a while. The flu is followed by cough as usual. Wish myself a speedy recovery. Yoshi~!

The soccer session hasn't resumed for this week due to lack of players... Probably most of them still in the new year mood. Anyway, hope to play next week!

Manchester United lost away at Goodison Park, 3 - 1 to Everton. Oh well, probably the most used excuse to console myself was that they'd play during midweek against AC Milan, that's why some of them looked so lerthagic... I'm not writing them off yet~ It's certainly not the end, and as long as they can quickly find back the form and maintain it, it won't be long before they stand at the top again~ Go for it, Man United!

何を忘れたんだろう？　何を覚えたんだろう？　何を見つけたんだろう？

Welcome the 虎-at Year~!!

2010-02-14T23:59:00.000+08:00

Ok la, though the forecast already said that Oxen's fortune is going to be in and out, I really hope this year can have at least a slight turn of good wealth for me and my family.

Today is the 正月初一 and it's different from the previous years... It's unusually quiet. Usually people will come and gather at my place due to the fact that my grandma was staying with me. This year I went to my 大姑 and 三姑's places separately, and since they weren't gathered at a same place, their 'power' significantly shrank. The power refers to their chatting ability (see who's the loudest) XD. And yes, due to that, it's quieter than the previous years. However, the news is that they're coming over tomorrow~ So, ok~, probably just a change of schedule, but the battle is still on. There'll be more challengers as well, such as my 小姑. Anyway, in order to avoid the 'saliva-shed', it would be wise for me to take cover in a room.

We set off at around 2pm and we still managed to stay at my 大姑 then 三姑's places until nearly 7pm despite the fact that most of their children weren't at home. Most of the time was spent at the former's place. So, out of these 2, it's very clear who's the better chatter.

After that, as we're pretty hungry, my Dad drove us around and finally managed to find a life-saving coffeeshop just opposite of Punggol Park. A simple dinner of fish soup, some vegie, and 排骨湯. It's been like how long since we last sat together around a table eating dinner?

Reached 婆婆's place, only left my 大舅 and family and the house owner 小舅 and his family, the others have already came and left. Sat a while and finally we decided to end our visit and headed home~

僕が今生きてるこの世界にすべてが無意味だって思えるちょっと疲れてるのかな。 - HANABI - Mr. Children

Time to Wave Goodbye to Ox...

2010-02-08T00:04:00.000+08:00

Man~ School chasing me for school fees already~ Damn. Can't you just hold for a while! Money sucker. So what if I don't pay? Kick me out?! *Angry* Angry for my incompetency to produce my own school fees. Useless fool.

Lunar New Year is just exactly 7 days away. Haven't been helping out with spring cleaning. Keep on going out. Feeling damn damn guilty. Next Saturday no going out for me!!!

Soccer Update:
Another hot day saw most of us burnt until like bak kwa. (A bit 夸张 XD)
Today tried out my new boots. Went for another bright yellow boots, and it's Nike Mercurial~ Very slick and simple. However, perhaps due to the fact that it's new, I had trouble performing up to standard. Haha. (Excuse) Today also had a sudden surge of youth challengers... Too friendly I thought. They could played more physically. Anyway, they all have potential, just keep the passion going...

Goal Scored: 0. *Bad*
Well, no goals scored, but at least I could remember 2 assists... So, fair play to myself. (Consolation)
2 weeks later got to perform better!! \(><)/

This week we saw Manchester United scored 5 against Portsmouth at Old Trafford!! Well, actually was only 2 scored by United players and 3 own goals by Portsmouth. Anyway, big boost to confidence~ Maintain all the way Man United!!

幸福は、虹に似るべきでなくて、雨の後に短時間出て来るだけです。

Work Pressure Piling

2010-01-31T22:23:00.000+08:00

The IA work has begun and the project is slowly presented for me to do. It looks hard to complete, but I certainly hope I can achieve at least what they expect me to do. However, I really loathe to bring the work home to do~ So, I think I'll hardly touch my work at home. That means I have to make my time at work more productive.

Well, these few weeks kept going out. Bought some clothes, a pair of jeans, etc. Just got my first thought-to-be-postponed allowance and I have to spend it. Not to forget I'm still in debt. New year just has to buy new clothes to mark a new start, boots spoilt no choice,...

Soccer Update:
I did fairly well today~ Goals, assists, and runs as well. It might be due to only 4-a-side today, perhaps. I think I played too seriously. Just wanna improve every week~ But guess what? Just taking a few shots, and my boots couldn't take it already. Right boots opened its 'mouth'... And with more shots, it opened bigger... Sad. I just bought it on August~ OMG (O.o). Paying 80 dollars every 3 months is not quite worth it.

Goal(s) Scored: >3 (*Weekly target achieved*)

Later The Gunners faces The Red Devils at home ground. As a Manchester United fan, of course I vote and I hope Man United can win~ Need to bite Chelsea tightly. GO! Manchester United!

The Beginning of Real Work...

2010-01-24T23:05:00.000+08:00

The training is finally coming to an end. I can't say that I've really learnt much, even seconds after watching a video I could also forget about the content haha. Anyway, this training was kinda fun. Well, I believed I'm the wet blanket inside la, always silent, always moody. Now the 'Man of Few Words' title is back again, hate to admit it but I seriously think my brain got some problem, the communication part has some damage... Back to work, I really hope my supervisor can be someone nice, hope my work won't be too hard to pick up.

Just now as I was waiting for my flat's elevator, a 'suspicious' auntie, looks to be in the age of 60-70, 'scanned' me and suddenly said that I looked unfamiliar like as though I don't live around here. Weird...

Lunar New Year is just 2 weeks away~ Haven't bought any clothes yet... Lazy to go shop also~ = = Haven't started my spring cleaning yet! Should I cut hair? Wah kao... that's like plenty of things to do... *Panic*

Soccer Update:
Today was damn hot~! Well, didn't play up to standard today. Weak-legged from early stage, no chance, couldn't create chance, passing was sloppy, simply off. Later on it got much better and I managed to achieve my weekly target. Overall, not good enough.

Goal(s) Scored: 2. *Weekly target achieved*

Manchester United won the game last night! 4 - 0 thrashing of Hull City at home~ Shiok! Valencia didn't play, probably he's being rested for the more important match ahead. Owen had plenty of chances, but he never converted any. Man of the Match has to be none other than Rooney~ 4 goals all scored by him~ Totally explosive~ Cool! Keep it up guys~ Win the rest of the games!

私は、もう少し話す必要があります…

Industrial Attachment Starto!!

2010-01-17T19:33:00.001+08:00

Seriously not used to the new working lifestyle. In school we can arranged our time table until we could sometimes have 1 or 2 free days. However, for working environment, it's work, work and work for all the weekdays~ So I can only look forward to weekends and public holidays in order to get some decent rest. In school, we can go according to the time our lessons require us to. But when working, fixed reporting time and punctuality is expected... Man~ Don't know how long I can withstand this... Very soon I think I might find myself having difficulties waking up.

Despite that, the things we learned, the treatment we got were pretty good. Still another week of 'honeymoon' period (training) before we separate into our different departments. Hope to enjoy this IA, show me the direction!

Soccer Update:
Today was hot in the morning. Think I got burnt. Anyway, under the condition that I'm not feeling too well, I managed to give some satisfying performances despite having a handful of poor controls early in the game.

Goal(s) Scored: 2. *Weekly target achieved.*

This week, despite a not-up-to-standard performance from the Man United, they still managed to claim victory at home against Burnley. Man United struggled to break the deadlock in the first half with plenty of chances especially from the crosses of Antonio Valencia but no one could properly put the ball into the net. It was until 14th minutes into the 2nd half, the under-pressured Dimitar Berbatov, who is struggling from a knee injury, with a clever turn and left-footed shot, deflected by the Burnley's defender, finally gave the home team the long awaited lead. Minutes later, a lapse in concentration from the visitors gave Wayne Rooney a chance to shoot and he slotted it calmly into the bottom left corner of the net. The last goal came from a promising youngster Mame Biram Diouf who broke the offside trap and headed the ball from a distance as the Burnley goalkeeper Jansen rushed out in a one-on-one situation but still could not manage to block the header from Diouf. A good victory, but the defence still looks worrying. GO Man United!

これは私の運命であるかもしれませんか?

2010 New Year Resolution

2010-01-10T19:46:00.000+08:00

Alright, guess most of you have already planned your new year resolution? If not, come on, make one and most importantly, stick to it! Well, can't say I've been adhering to my last year's resolution... especially being more caring... Well, in fact 2009 could be the most unfriendly year I've ever been? Didn't send birthday greetings to most of my friends... Wonder what's hindering me? I knew the first few was that I simply forgotten, and the others, I was just simply in no mood to send the greetings. Sorry guys, probably fell into emo mood... I'll try to send the greetings this year!

Well, for 2010, my new year resolution shouldn't have much change. I'm still a student, and I'm still as poor...

New Year Resolution 2010: (Not in particular order)

Be more caring. (Towards family & friends)
Learn to cook.
Be more sociable.
Be more thickskin.
Save up more money.
If time & money permit, take up driving course.
Help out more in household chores.

Some other resolution were at the left sidebar in the "Things I want" list. Well, basically, my resolution is more of personal development. All these years I've been trying to tell myself to be a "better man". However, there are many ways to be a better person, and I just don't seem to feel the 'good' in me... Not enough.

Soccer Update:
Today my body was not in good condition. Perhaps watching the late match last night contributed to it. Feeling tired faster than usual, with one of the ear blocked, breathing difficulty... Terrible. However, today I did scored a few individual effort which I was pretty delighted about.

Goal(s) Scored: 3. *target achieved.*

The only 2 matches that continued, despite the poor weather condition that seen several other matches postponed, ended with draw. Arsenal saved the blushes at home with a Rosicky's injury-time deflected shot and Manchester United relied on an own goal to equalise. Birmingham players are human, Manchester United too. But where's Man United's passion? *Angry*

------------------------------------
P.S. Alright, in a few days time, my IA gonna start... Seriously, don't know what to expect...

IAは始まるでしょう。

Welcome 2010!!!

2010-01-03T17:22:00.000+08:00

Wow~ It seems like yesterday we just celebrated the millennium, and guess what? It has been a decade already! *Shock* Can't deny I'm getting older and older...Still thinking what to include for new year resolution... Will update soon.

Got back the exam results, thank goodness I passed all... but never in the range of what I aimed for. Simply sick of studying. GPA? Don't even want to look at it. Going IA in one week's time~ Feeling excited, but worried I might perform dreadful and kick out of the company... Come to think of it, the longest I've ever worked in a company was about 2 months... Now we're going for 22 weeks~ That's almost 6 months... Oh my... Hope everything goes well and smooth for me.

Soccer Update:
The first soccer game of 2010. We managed to call up 10 players altogether~ Had a great workout, I felt today was a good game. Simply played with a variety of approaches. Today my cross completion rate was high with most of my crosses going as intended. Decent dribbling as well. Only unsatisfied that most of my shots were off.

Goal(s) Scored: 3.

Manchester United tonight gonna face their arch-rival from the past~ Leeds United! Will the old rivalries reignite? Man Utd~ FTW!

明けましておめでとうございます!

Post-X'mas, Pre-New Year

2009-12-28T01:27:00.000+08:00

Had a 'risky' Christmas at my friend's house. Playing RISK I mean. It was my first time playing, and as we weren't familiar with the rules, so we played with our own rules. Ok la, basically a game of luck... unless you really know some techniques of dice throwing. RISK this type of game, the excitement I think can only last for a while... Can't play too many times, it gets bored pretty easily.

Alright, after the last holiday of the year, 2009 is finally coming to an end... Taking a look back at this year, let's list some events that happened and I could remember:

Most regretful of all, I had my first failed core subject in my university.
Involved in helping my friend created a website, realized it's not easy though I mostly helped out in the design of banners.
First In-Camp-Training after my ORD.
Attended friend's wedding. First of my friend who's got married, or of those I'm still in contact with.
Death of Michael Jackson... Every time my year, Ox, there would be a big name dead, last one is 鄧麗君(1997).
Grand-uncle passed away all of a sudden, attended his wake.
Plenty of new shopping malls opened~ Orchard Central, 313, ION, many more.
MRT Circle Line opened.
Christopher Lee and Fann Wong's Wedding.

Ok la, really a lot more... Can't think of them now. This year had been pretty poor for me, nothing seems to work well. Hope 2010 will be a good year... World Cup year as well~ looking forward.

Soccer Update:
This week ended with no soccer session~ NOOOOooooo~~~ It was supposed to be the last match of the year~! Too bad, don't have enough people to even form 4 v 4. Or should I say not enough hardcore, trustworthy players to form at least 8. Seriously, I can train with even 3 people!!! Argh~ No people? Run around lo~ Can train stamina ma... Sigh~

Oh well, Goodbye to 2009, Welcome 2010~

ようこそ～二千十年！

Merry Christmas~

2009-12-21T00:21:00.000+08:00

Alright, there wasn't much to update this week, mainly otaku lifestyle...

Avatar is a brilliant masterpiece... It made me thought of Final Fantasy which they often created many imaginary and beautiful places of fantasy. The scenery were very detailed, same for the creatures. It made me ponders wouldn't it be great if such place exists... It also sent a message about conserving nature. Seriously a great film. The only regret could be I didn't watch in 3D. But without 3D it's already considered a brilliant film in my opinion... Sad thing is this type of film can only be produced once in a blue moon as it really needed a strong team behind as well as a long time to produce it...

In a flash, we are going to welcome the last holiday of the year... It's Christmas' time~! Well, don't have any activity on that day yet... Still thinking. Anyway, it'd be nice even if I can just stay home and hibernate. Such a cosy weather nowadays. Thinking of baking a X'mas cake, how about it? Wahaha... Hm... see first. XD

Soccer Update:
This week came the monsoon season, raining almost everyday but luckily it wasn't when we were playing. Sadly only 7 managed to turn up and we simply had to play with 3 v 4 throughout the morning. It was a good run. There were more spaces for me to run around and I felt that it's great.

Goal(s) Scored: >=3.
Due to lesser people, more spaces, I managed to have a few runs and attempted some long shots... Thus, it explained why there were about this number of goals for me. Missed some glaring chances, and I really gotta improve my one-on-one with keeper. I always seems to lack of tricks to round the keeper. More practices I hope would allow me to build up on that.

Last night was an upset night for Liverpool as well as Manchester United. I thought Liverpool might already been bad due to their poor forms of late, but for United, not to mention their absent defenders, they lacked penetrations and simply couldn't break the disciplined and organized defence of Fulham. Their passing were dreadful, especially Paul Scholes... When he's on-form, he can be Man of the Match, but when he's off, he can really be giving goals and passes away really cheaply. The inconsistency can be really costly... And I also don't understand why seeing his performance and picked a yellow early in the match, Ferguson didn't change him down. Sigh... Hope the defenders recover soon so that Fletcher and Carrick could go up and support the forwards. Go United! \(><)/

メリークリスマス！！　*~\(>o<)/~*

Chain of Misfortunes

2009-12-13T15:09:00.000+08:00

I don't know what dog shit have I stepped on, but my tentative health status is hitting low. Out of no reason, I've been down with a stomach flu. It's a very terrible, terrible illness to bear. Initially I thought it was just a gastric, so I hurried went to eat some food, but it got worst over the night and I had to lay on the bed, rolling and curling up. Feeling hot and cold in a random fashion. I even hallucinated and kept on thinking someone was talking to me. That lasted the whole night until next morning 5 am... I finally threw up and it felt much better. However, the pain still persisted. Woke up next day, feeling super weak, having a diarrhoea, I still continued believing it's gonna be ok soon, but I'm still feeling hot and having cold sweat. Until night time, my sister insisted to bring me see a doctor, then I realised I've gotten a stomach flu. Never gotten before, or never this serious... I thought my time's up. Haha. Well, up until now, diarrhoea still going on, and the medicine has been used up. Not effective. = =
Wish myself get well soon. I can't afford to lose any more weight!! I'm shrinking already! From army time about 55kg, shrank till 52kg after ORD, then now this has made me lost 2kg more! OMG !O_____O! I think I can be blown away by the wind soon. XD

Soccer Update:
Weak legs, due to the illness. Can't give my all. Overall, still managed to get on the scoresheet once. Totally weak in my shots, and all too direct 'cause I'm too tired to try anything else. I have to recover soon.

Goal(s) Scored: 1. *Not good enough*

NOOoooo~!! Just when we saw Chelsea being held by Everton at home, carrying hope on the late match for Man United to go level on points, they blew it. Lost to Aston Villa at home. With the recent injuries, it's understandable that the defence were going to be a little shaky, but where's the effort on the other end? Lack of creativity and luck caused them dearly. The decision to sub Giggs out just after the break is a poor one I'd say. Unless he's injured, I thought he might already had an idea of how to deal with Villa during the half-time break. Too bad, not the day in mind for Man United. That will leave them 3 pts behind Chelsea. Damn~!

不運へ諦めない。

血光之災

2009-12-06T16:12:00.002+08:00

Well, you believe that? Haha. I think it's happening to me right now... I've been free from injuries for quite a long time... And yet within these 2 weeks, I've been seeing blood, ya, other than some gore movies, I saw my own blood on quite a few occasions already. Simply walking and knocked myself onto stools can have a cut and bled. Helped my mum fixed something can also cut my finger, and just now playing soccer, I slipped and slid on the wet ground, peeled skin on both my elbows and of course, bled as well... =_____=
But luckily these are just superficial injuries. I need to take extra care on myself from now on or else I really don't know what's more serious is just waiting to happen...

Alright, exams over. We're in to holidays~ Still not satisfied at all with my results though they haven't come. XD Don't wanna think about it anymore. If nothing goes wrong I should be going for my IA next semester in January. Better don't go wrong, I really don't know what to do if it does.

Soccer Update:
It's been like 3 weeks since we last played and last week on Hari Raya Haji, we resumed our usual training. Quite a few teams to challenge that day. Can't really remember the performance on that day, just knew, we didn't play much, and I'm off-form. I took over the 'God of Hand' that day, handling ball for like 5 times...? Think I wanna improve on my goalkeeping skills so... uh hm... Yeah right~! XD
This week slightly back on form but due to the wet weather, slippery ground, people reluctant to run especially after my negative example. Ya, ultimate slid on my back for a little distance... Not serious, heng.

Goal(s) Scored:
- Last Friday: nil
- Today: a handful. (can't really remember).

Fitness is a concern as I've been having cramps during the matches for 2 weeks consecutively. Stamina needs to get back, plus my dribbling. Today's rate of getting through opponents is disappointing, can't dribble pass them~ Not much idea.

United hammered the Hammers~ 4 - 0. Shiok. Haha. Paul Scholes break the deadlock at the injury-time of first half with a stunning left-footed shot. Even a touch by Robert Green couldn't stop it from entering the net. Darren Gibson, Antonio Valencia and Wayne Rooney all contributed to the goals as well. Nice~ Hope they can cope well with the defence as the injuries are really causing a headache. It ended with Michael Carrick and Patrice Evra as centre defender... = =

人生における危険な期間。

Week 12 Roundup

2009-11-09T00:28:00.000+08:00

10 days left...

Starting to feel a little tired of using com... which is a good sign. Think I need to stay away the com to at least reduce the distractions.

Have some progress in my learning of Fur Elise piano playing. I completed the piece! Can't say I master it though, not smooth enough. Need more practice! Haha. I also started trying To Zanarkand... It's a very nice masterpiece by Nobuo Uematsu. Just the starting few notes can simply give me a magical dream feel. Can't forget the moments which I played Final Fantasy X too... Love the story, love the characters... I want to play Final Fantasy XIII~~!!!

Recently accepted a contract extension by Singtel for broadband. But after the acceptance, I did some research and the deal isn't that great. Free Mio TV which I don't need. And it jerked up the price from $30/mth to $39/mth for 3mbps~~ Freaked. Hopefully can cancel before it commences.

Soccer Update:
Alright, no soccer session for me this week. My feet are feeling so itchy~
This week the Red Devils travels to Stamford Bridge, looking to destroy the Blues. Hopefully they can emerge victorious. 'Cause We Are The Champions!

ずっと続けて。

Week 11 Roundup

2009-11-01T18:32:00.000+08:00

Going into Week 12 O.o!!! 2 weeks... OMG. What have I studied? - -?

Last Saturday got news that my 舅公 (I usually called him Gu Gong) had passed away. It was quite sudden. Then throughout the week I attended his wake on some of the days. Heard from my other relatives, he died while coming back after buying somethings (including a heavy flower pot?) and along the way, heart attack stroked. Also heard that he knelt on the stairs where he suffered the attack with hand grabbing onto the railing. Looked like he didn't want to leave...
On Friday we sent him off. It was my second time to the Mandai Crematorium & Columbarium Complex. First was to send off my friend.
Well, I asked myself, have I ever talked to him in my life? I'm the sort of very quiet, hate to socialise type of person. I usually don't initiate a conversation. And I can see my relatives are drifting away from me. Or should I say I'm the one drifting away from them...? I'm sorry... Seems like I've got some kind of problem. Now I also don't really know how to address some of my relatives. Some of them I don't even remember who they are... Am I bad...? Sometimes I really do hate myself. I have this invisible barrier right in front that blocks and repels me away from others. I won't allow anyone to get that close to me. It's a rather sad thing. Sometimes I wonder if I have any 'best' friend... Until now I don't think I've found someone who can really understand me, a bosom friend, but it's due to the fact that I'm not opening up myself. Ok, don't wanna think about it anymore. At least not now...

Soccer Update:
Alright, this week would be the last match for me prior to the coming exams.
Thought I had a pretty good game. Providing assists, as well as getting on the scoresheet. Most of my shots today were on target, though the ratio of number of shots to number of goals scored wasn't that impressive. With a slight change of play for me, instead of usual run and pass, this time round, I tried to run and shoot. And much to my delight, it somehow worked. As least the shots were on target and tested the keeper. Overall, good game.

Goal(s) scored: 4. *New high record*
Ok, not like I scored 4 in a match, but I scored 4 in total today. Still, a record for me.
First goal was great, a push to the right, and shot right to the bottom left. Spelled a good shooting form for the day.
Second goal came after a few attempts being blocked, and morale started to take a dip. The ball was actually drifting over the goal, but a thank to the keeper who decided to save it but ended up putting the ball over the line.
Third was a little tugging with the opposition defender and grabbed a shot while the ball was slightly off the ground. It went past the keeper.
Fourth was somewhat special for me. Mind was getting tired by then plus the opponents were not from my clique. Got a good ball squared to me, and I tried a shot from a tight angle, hoping the one marking me wasn't expecting me to shoot. And my unexpected shot really went through straight into the goal. Delighted with that shot. A winning goal for that match.

This week we saw yet another goal bonanza for BPL. All matches ended with at least 2 goals. However, we also saw red cards showing in many matches as well. It's just like a trend. Most badly hit would be Liverpool with 2 red cards shown to a replacement right-back Philipp Degen, and their strong center-back Jamie Carragher. Worst still, while they were still on par with Fulham on score, their eccentric manager Rafael Benitez confidently decided to take away their most likely chance to win --- Fernando Torres. If that wasn't that bad, he took away Yossi Benayoun. And following 2 reds, Dirk Kuyt. Totally banished the chance to make any form of comeback. Well you see, I'm not a fan of Liverpool, I support their rivals the Red Devils. But I certainly don't dislike them and I think they deserve much better football. So next better manager please~
As for Manchester United, after a frustrating first half, they finally broke the deadlock with Berbatov opened the scoring at the 55th minutes and Rooney scored a second in closing minutes, assisted by Evra and Anderson respectively. Gabriel Obertan finally made his debut in BPL, showing some glimpse of his speed and dribbling skills. He's good! A little skinny I thought, but his speed, decisiveness and both legged have really shown how much potential he has. As for Man U, even though they have won, the match wasn't very convincing, considering Blackburn had been trashed badly by Chelsea and Arsenal. However, a win is still the right result.

だれかが私を変えてくれることができますか?

Week 10 Roundup

2009-10-26T00:23:00.001+08:00

Changed from using Twitter to Plurk. Anyway, due to recent lagging and refusal to receive my updates from Twitter, I've switched to Plurk. Seemingly more cute. Anyway, think I don't really have much interesting to update anyway, so I don't think this can last.

Alright, Week 11 will end all my lab assignments. And we're going into full blast for the final exams. I need to get into mugging mood asap.

Sigh, tonight might not be able to watch the match between Liverpool against Manchester United at Anfield. But I'll try my best to watch the match. Although, this match would be crucial for Benitez and Liverpool, Manchester United can't afford to slip up either. GO RED DEVILS!

Soccer update:
Today we had an early game. Scheduled to be at 9 instead of usual 9:30. Today we had for ourselves a team of good challengers. They were there before most of us reached. As long as we got 5 players ready, we began playing with them.

Goal(s) scored: 1. *Need to work harder*
Well today started pretty bad I would say, with a handful of errors mostly poor finishing. The bad finishes lingered throughout all the matches I played. Perhaps, today I was too ambitious, too many unnecessary attempts at goal I would say. I could have dribbled more, and provided more assists. The only goal I scored, from a very good passing from my teammate could be the only shot on target for me. I need more games! But with exams around the corner, I think we could have just one more before taking a break from it. That is provided we have enough people and playable weather.

WTF~! Lost to Liverpool at Anfield!!! *Angry* But oh well, with their so lousy previous 4 performances, it's also time for them to hit back in order to remain the contenders of the title. But why Manchester United~?!! Sigh~ It really hit them hard with Nemanja Vidic red carded as well. Oh well, better luck next time, playing at Anfield is always hard.

目覚めるのが必要です。

Week 9 Roundup

2009-10-18T19:19:00.001+08:00

It’s week 9 already! Week 13/14 will be the start of exams!! O.o

This week I did my presentation, and my lab session for another subject ended. Loads getting lighter, but I haven’t revised anything yet~!! There’re still 2 more lab reports to complete… Come on, let’s end it fast!

Friday night, after doing assignments together at one of my friends’ house, we went to Sakura Charcoal Grilled & Shabu Shabu at Punggol Marina to have our dinner. Thanks to my friend's mum, she treated us all! I hardly stuffed my stomach until that full nowadays~ But really, the food there are delicious, especially those that I grilled myself. (^O^ ) Think I got some kind of grilling talent or what? Hehe. Joking la. The salmon, with the yakiniku, wow~ tastes salty but still nice~ I also had beef, chicken teriyaki, etc… Except for the difficulty in getting all the way there as had to walk quite a distance if going there by public transport, otherwise, I might consider going again soon~ Haha. Hm… the cost wise is also another big factor, SGD26++ for adults. Think I’ll save a bit more then think about it haha.

Last night after watching soccer matches, I continued doing my lab assignments until around 4.30am! (#_# ) See the codes until I blur~

Soccer Update:

This week has no soccer session again due to not enough people to make up 8. Today was such a great weather~ Sigh. Next week most probably will not have enough people as well, and soon my exam gonna start, think we’re being forced to have an early break from soccer.

Last night, the Red Devils won against Bolton Wanderers at home 2 – 1. First half was really dominating, but second half the complacency eventually built up and conceded a cheap goal and given a few opportunities for Bolton to equalise. Luckily Van Der Sar’s impressive positioning kept the equalising goal an impossible task for the visitors. What I’m really impressed was the performance of Antonio Valencia. He calmly rammed a shot after exchanging passes with Gary Neville and claimed his first goal of the season. He’s very damn cool in the sense, he doesn’t smile much, not much expression, and even after scoring a goal, I didn’t see any celebration from him. That’s what we call, a man with character. XD

あなたの笑顔を見せてくれ。

Week 8 Roundup

2009-10-11T20:14:00.001+08:00

School term started again, and here we are, expected to work hard for the final exams. I did signed up for some student tutorial groups, but thinking of it starting from 7pm to 8.30pm really makes me reluctant to go. Sigh…

Saw a link posted by my friend on facebook, and I actually saw someone drew an image that I actually had drawn a few weeks back out of boredom~ O.o Freaking alike. But of course he added colours to it and really drew very much better than me. He also gave the boy in the image the emotion which I was trying to portrait as well… That’s pretty creepy. Too bad, no credit was given in that link, thus I don’t know who the original artist is… Really feel like knowing this guy, great minds think alike ya?

Sometimes, I really dislike the fact that life has got to be many regrets. Why must we regret? Why must time be irreversible? Why some things just can’t be the same again?

Soccer Update:
Alright, this week I had 2 games, one is my school's annual soccer tournament. The other is the Sunday's usual soccer session. My school's soccer tournament ended pretty disappointing as we're defeated as early as in the first round. Couple of changes to last year's rule such as changing from 4v4 to 5v5 on the same small court, and changing the league to just knockout stages. We're the first team to play, too vulnerable towards a more physical team, lack of ideas, lack of the drive to win. I felt that the opponents were the hungrier team, throwing bodies, executing multiple kicks in order to win the ball... I'm impressed by their drive to be frank, I thought they might be one of the teams we defeated last year, that's their vengeance match perhaps? I barely played for only half a match which was only 4mins, very disappointed. Alright, I'll train more!

Today's match had only 8 players. Very tiring despite the fact that I prefer lesser people so that I can have more spaces to run around. Lack of stamina also contributed to a string of errors. Most glorious of all was the shot on own goal. I was trying to clear from the line, another player was on my left, and a breakdown in communication simply forced me to make a mess clear. Terrible effort. Recently has been watching some videos on soccer to learn some new tricks but I simply couldn't execute them, or there weren't any chances for those. If I don't even try, it would be very difficult to master soon.

Goal(s) scored: >3 *Weekly target achieved*
Though I've scored more than 3 goals, this week's shouldn't be really counted as we couldn't make up 2 5-a-side teams. Thus, we had more spaces and there're cases when the goalkeeper had to leave to provide more support.

人生を逆にすることができません。